PIcking up platypi is, per my experience, right up there with quicksand as far as frequency of encounters is concerned. I’m not saying it won’t happen, but if I do have to pick up a platypus, and there’s some quicksand around then I’m gonna go buy a lottery ticket, if you see what I mean.
*platypussies
platypodes
Unironically correct, but also very funny.
what no i’m not allowed to be correct fuck
platypodes nuts
Platypusii.
Do you also say, “octopussies”?
Every chance I get.
Not to be confused with the elusive cocktopus
One day we’ll find this mythical being, there are top men on the case, and also bottom men
not to be confused with the extremely dangerous glocktopus
Oh, a Roger Moore fan?
The correct spelling is “platypuses”, you degenerates.
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Also makes a handy melee weapon in a pinch
1d4 bludgeoning with 1d6 poison on a crit.
Also psychological damage, at least 1d10. I mean, could you imagine someone attacking you with a live platypus?
Splatypus
I’ve been reading a military sci-fi book series about soldiers who can be resurrected, essentially infinitely. Being military sci-fi, many of the books are about battles that start with either traveling or fighting in space but are resolved on the ground. It’s not explicitly said, but the resources seem to be essentially endless.
As such, when transitioning from ship-based to ground-based combat, the troops follow an unreliable process that involves jumping into a shell that is then fired at the ground like a bullet. Since they can be resurrected, not much care is put into making the launch process terribly consistently survivable.
People who don’t survive their launch, especially recruits, are called “splats.”
edit: Spelling.
What is this book series called??
Undying Mercenaries by BV Larson
Be warned: while I am enjoying the stories, the books could have used quite a bit more proofreading.
Right on, appreciate it! Honestly from what you were saying it just sounds like helldivers to me lol
There are definitely comparable elements of the premises.
Smackypus
free him
This will surely come in handy next time I have to do this.
encounters with wild animals should always happen on their terms not yours!
That sounds a lot like something a seagull would say.
They’re venomous
As per the Wikipedia page on platipuses vebom:
Crocodiles, Tasmanian devils and raptors are known local predators to the platypus, all of which can be impacted by the venom.
Silly predators don’t know to hold the platypus up by the end of the tail!
Idiots, no wonder the platypus is still around!
On they feet
Is this true? Can someone confirm? I wouldn’t like to grab a platypus this way only to find out it was a troll and get spurred.
Kind of confirmed! Might only apply to wild ones or pissed off males - anything else I can find on YT is both from this same woman, and a full on love-fest with them like some sort of goofy water puppykittyducky.
I’ll remember that the next time I need to pickup a platypus!
I hope to have to use this information someday.
TIL a platypus makes venom.
Very very horrible venom
Non-necrotizing, non-fatal. There’s waaaaay worse out there, and much more commonly found too. Pain sucks, no doubt about that, but you’ll survive and not lose a limb.
Interestingly there’s a D-amino acid in their genome which is the only D-amino acid found thus far in mammals.
Yeah but it’s very long lasting venom and doesn’t respond well to pain medication iirc, so it’s still pretty high on the list of nasty venoms I think
What effect does platypus venom have on a human, anyway? Is it super deadly or just like a minor spider bite? 🤔
Painful but not deadly. Wikipedia mentions someone complaining about the pain a month after.
It gets you really high.
On the pain scale.
I don’t know if this is correct about platypuses, but this IS generally how you handle snapping turtles and you are much more likely to deal with one of those.
Their dangerous trick has nothing to do with their legs though. It’s their neck. It is very long, very flexible, and fast. If you hold them the wrong way, they can hit you with a reach-around that is very much not the friendly sex move.
Stay tuned for more wildlife handling tips from me, your local halfway engineer-turned-farmer!
Edit to add a photo I found on an informational website about these longbois:
Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.
stealing this for my ttrpg character sheet
