• MTK@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I remember how creepy it was to see that once the girls in my class got boobs (around 8th grade, 13-14 yo) full on adults would start hitting on them. I recall seeing a few class mates in a local park, all 3 were 13 I think, they still looked like little girls, it’s just that now they had boobs and wore bras. So I see these 3 girls, each sitting in the lap of an 18-20 yo dude, and making out…

    As a kid I recall seeing it and thinking “wtf is wrong with those guys?”

  • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    My husband kicked me out once he realized flashing his money at 19 year olds worked. The teenagers didn’t ask him to stop playing FIFA and walk his dogs.

  • Beesbeesbees@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Gross. Accurate. Took me way too long to understand why my friend’s dad was acting the way he was around 13-17. Decades later and it still sickens me.

  • UnhingedFridge@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Still remember my middle school girlfriend brag about cheating on me and fucking guys that were buying her beer. Would have been nice to get authorities involved if I had anyone to talk to and wasn’t being neglected and abused at home. Kind of wild to lose hope in people at the age of 12.

    Bad times.

  • _druid@sh.itjust.works
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    3 days ago

    When I was a kid, in 7th grade science, I overheard a boy asking a girl out. She rejected him, he wasn’t her type. He asked what her type was, she mentioned a guy she was seeing, and casually mentioned he was 22. At the time, I was thinking this poor kid was woefully outmatched and would never have a chance. A few years later, it dawned on me just how fucked up that whole situation was.

      • msprout@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        Yeah in my high school, a girl I knew got into serious trouble for trying to bring her 25 year old boyfriend to junior prom, when she was 16. 😩 For some reason, the district allowed it. 😭😭

        • QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works
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          3 days ago

          16 is the Age of Consent in most places, that doesn’t make it right, but I can only guess the district thought “Well if it’s legal…” without thinking if it was appropiate.

          It definitely wasn’t and it endangered the other students

          • kingofras@lemmy.world
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            3 days ago

            16 is the Age of Consent in most places, that doesn’t make it right, but I can only guess the district thought “Well if it’s legal…” without thinking if it was appropiate.

            That’s not how age of consent works you uninformed denizen softening the ground for pedos.

            Educate first, then loud blab on the internet.

            Ref: https://lemmy.world/comment/18382947

            • Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org
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              1 day ago

              In the US, age of consent varies by state. In most US states the age of consent to sex with someone who is not in a position of authority is 16. Often with a close in age exception. 18 gets used in US media so much because that’s what it is in CA and NY, and that’s where most media is made.

              18 is also federal age of consent, but that only applies when an incident involves crossing state lines.

            • jj4211@lemmy.world
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              2 days ago

              Your reference is your own comment? Shouldn’t somewhere down the chain there be a link explaining this? It would be nice for you to be right, but I don’t think you are.

              If it were only about activities with other shouldn’t be of age people, then it makes no sense. Either they are allowed and it’s legal or it’s illegal for both of them but neither can be considered criminally responsible because neither can legally consent either.

              There are stories constantly about someone older having relations with someone way too young but the jurisdiction has age of consent to make it ok.

              • kingofras@lemmy.world
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                2 days ago

                My god, this place is overrun by petulant children who can’t do their own research and are criminally unaware of the laws surrounding this.

                You want a link, here’s a link

                also this

                TLDR; it is immensely complex, varies country by country, but as a general rule of thumb, having sex with a minor whilst you yourself not being a minor will almost everywhere land you in trouble. As it should. ^applies to regular joe without powerful friends in powerful places only.^

                Topic highly unsuited for one line response mediums like this new reddit.

                • Banana@sh.itjust.works
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                  1 day ago

                  Why do you start every comment with an insult? Their question was reasonable and they didn’t treat you the same. That really doesn’t make you sound as smart as you think it does, especially when you’re referencing yourself in your original comment, and the comment of your own that you referenced doesn’t actually clarify anything, it’s just another example of you insulting somebody and telling them that they’re wrong.

                  Besides, age of consent laws differ in how they work based on what country you are in, and not everyone is from your country. You’re expecting people to know shit they’re not reasonably expected to know, and you’re mad at them about it and being a child about it.

                • jj4211@lemmy.world
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                  1 day ago

                  For example, the age of consent in the US state of Delaware is 18, but it is allowed for teenagers aged 16 and 17 to engage in sexual intercourse as long as the older partner is younger than 30

                  16 and 17 is still under the age of consent, but they have a special exception for partners under 30. So the age of consent is still exactly what people think it is

                  Circumstances of the relationship

                  Generally it still looks like for those jurisdictions the age of consent is pretty much what people think it is, however the bar for consent is much higher. The Pennsylvania example is closest to what you describe, but seems to be that they basically prosecute for some other crime because age of consent is low enough but they have other laws. Guessing it’s rooted in some provisions for young marriage but still able to prosecute premarital sex as corrupted morals.

                  In short to all these jurisdictions, just raise the damn age of consent instead of having all sorts of weird loopholes that make it sometimes ok for a 45 year old to get with a 14 year old.

    • OctopusNemeses@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      I saw that kind of thing too. I figured those girls were probably dating the popular guys our age. A while later I found out that not even those guys were dating them. It was the 20 to 30 somethings.

  • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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    2 days ago

    I accidentally ended up with a very young lady. I know how this will sound, and all I can do is assure everyone that, at least for my part, everything I say is the absolute truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

    I went to college late, I was 23 by the time I applied to college, and turned 24 shortly after starting classes. My birthday is in the first quarter, or so, of the year.

    Anyways. I think I was in my second year of college when I met this girl, I don’t even remember how I met her honestly; it wasn’t a dating app, those things barely existed at the time and I haven’t ever used one; I just haven’t seen the need… Anyways, everything seems cool, she’s telling me she’s 17 and has a bday coming up. At this point I’m 24/25, and I’m thinking that’s a bit young, but since she’s basically 18 at this point, I don’t really see a problem with it… Anyways, birthday happens, Yay, and life goes on. After a few months as things get more and more complicated, as happens in most relationships, I come to find out that her birthday, was her 17th birthday, she was 16 when we met. I’m suddenly very not ok with everything.

    It didn’t last super long after that. She was also preggo with her exes kid and never told me. The relationship was only like 5-6 months long. She lost the kid, I believe it was a miscarriage, and I’m sad for her that happened, but too much weird bullshit and deception was happening so I called it off.

    She wasn’t a good person. She’s on a short list of exes I don’t talk to anymore. Most of my exes I still consider good friends, even if I haven’t seen them in a long time. I’m in a stable, long term relationship with a more age appropriate partner, for… Gosh, it has to be 10 years now? Time flies. There’s… 6? ish years between our ages, and we met when I was 30-something… I’m much happier now. Heh.

    • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      This just sounds like you were misled and it was awkward. I don’t think you intended to chase young women.

      When I was in high school in the 80s it was not uncommon for high school girls in higher grades to have adult men as boyfriends. One of my teachers in fact did it, and got put on leave for a while LOL.

      • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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        1 day ago

        I was hoping that’s how it came across, since that’s what happened. So thank you for the confirmation.

        I’ve never been much for dating significantly younger women, since they’re usually a bit unpredictable. By the time my SO and I got together, we were established in our careers and just looking for someone that wouldn’t constantly stir up drama. Our relationship has thankfully been extremely drama free. If there’s a problem we talk about it like the adults we are.

        • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          I honestly question what one does when you are dating someone when you are 15 and 17 respectively, which is no big deal, but then it becomes 17 and 19? Like you aren’t really doing anything wrong, you’ve just had a relationship. But what’s the legal take on that?

          I know someone and this happened to her son, and he ended up on a sex offender database because he was 18, she was 17, and she sent him a nude or something and then cried foul to her parents. I just wonder about these grey areas. Believe it or not there is a subreddit for registered sex offenders so they can try and figure out how to navigate the details of life, and clearly some of their crimes are more along those lines than preying upon an actual child. I don’t think you did anything wrong, I think you just got misled.

          • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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            11 hours ago

            In the instance you specifically cite, depending on the laws in their specific jurisdiction, that can certainly happen. I’m aware that there are laws in some/many areas (honestly not sure how common it is), that I’ve heard referred to as “Romeo and Juliet” laws. They specifically exempt people from such charges if their ages are too similar.

            Of course the specifics are going to depend on the laws in the specific jurisdiction where it happened, when it happened… But I’m aware such laws exist.

      • DeviantOvary@reddthat.com
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        1 day ago

        I was groomed by a guy in his 40s when I was 16 to 18. He was also suspected to have sexually abused younger kids. I’ve been in a relationship with my current partner who’s my age for over a decade now. The abuser knew very well how to take advantage of vulnerable girls. And yes. That trauma will stay with me. I still have nightmares. For the first year with my partner I would frequently wake up from these nightmares and be so relieved to be next to my partner to comfort me. I found out very recently that the asshole is still out and about, but got cancer, so there’s some karma there.

        I’m sure that if I had better friends and wasn’t so lonely and had a better situation at home I wouldn’t have fallen for this. These abuser really know how to pick their victims.

  • Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    This is actually a destabilizing piece of society. Younger men become disaffected when older men, who are better partners, pick up much younger women (I am talking only about adults.). Younger women are then competing with older women for more established men, which can destroy families.

    Largely, we have fetishized youth so much that this isn’t something that will correct itself. I suppose the standards of beauty can change again, as they always do, but for now we are stuck with a real problem.

    • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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      2 days ago

      You’re not wrong, but I would call out a point of clarity, that youth is far more fetishized for women.

      I’m a dude, but as far as I can tell, guys need a bit of luck in the looks category (not the most important thing, but not looking disfigured generally helps), ambition, and success (mainly money). I had terrible luck with women. I’m not the best looking guy out there but I’m certainly not the worst either… And I could find relationships, but it always quickly fell apart. Once I decided to improve upon myself, and go to college in the pursuit of a well paying job, I found that my ambition was generally enough to keep people’s attention, romantically.

  • AnarchistArtificer@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    In school, when I was 13, one of my friends was “dating” a 19 year old. I vividly remember how cool we all thought this was. Reflecting on it makes me feel sick.

    • teamevil@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Back when I was 13 I was jealous because the “worldly” older guys got the girls …but the time I was that worldly age, I couldn’t believe how gross the guys looking at young teens were.

      Now I’m old and everyone under 30 looks way too young…as it should.

  • Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works
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    3 days ago

    At college, there were 16 and 17 year old girls with boyfriends in their twenties. Even at the time, I thought that was weird.

    At least I never heard about anything younger than that.

    • MehBlah@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      I know a guy who ended up in bed with a twelve year old. She didn’t look twelve and didn’t act twelve. He ended up going in to the military to flee. He didn’t have to worry because of course this same girl ended up pregnant in less than a year.

      Her story was all too common. She had been abused and trafficked from a very young age and had associated approval through sex. When this all came out her mom and step dad faced no consequences. They went out of their way to try to punish her. She ended up getting court ordered counseling which despite the parents continuing to try to interfere she got better.

      She eventually ended up married to a pretty decent guy and they left for parts unknown a few years later. I don’t think she was quite eighteen when they left.

      The scumbag parents are still around. They are considered fine christians in the community. After all they asked god for forgiveness. Not their victim mind you but god, so its all okay.

    • Rakonat@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      Some girl when I was in middle school, 14ish, used to get picked up by some tatted up 20 something, pretty sure he was at least 25 but no idea. We thought he was like an uncle or something. Nope, turns out he was her boyfriend. Pretty sure that guy went to prison for meth related activities.

  • Snowclone@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    I was hanging out with this girl my age in high school a lot, we were both 17, I thought it was going well, then some full grown adult said she was pretty at Walmart and I had to move on with my life.

  • thermal_shock@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    One thing I HATE about military bases. All the E1 soldiers wandering the local high schools looking for girls. Was really sickening

    • ByteOnBikes@discuss.online
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      3 days ago

      Bro it was such a shit show when I was growing up.

      Just military bros spending their entire military paycheck on a mustang and picking up high school girls.

      Still remember my friend crying/begging for help because military bro didn’t get sex and wanted to beat her up. And this dirtbag was going to get shipped with a rifle to some brown country.