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🍹Early to RISA 🧉@sh.itjust.worksM to Greentext@sh.itjust.works · 1 年前

Anon is out of ideas

sh.itjust.works

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Anon is out of ideas

sh.itjust.works

🍹Early to RISA 🧉@sh.itjust.worksM to Greentext@sh.itjust.works · 1 年前
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  • wellee@lemmy.world
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    1 年前

    You could move out of your mother’s basement

    • ANON@lemmy.ml
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      1 年前

      He said rich not billionaire rich

    • steal_your_face@lemmy.ml
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      1 年前

      Wait you can?

      • metaStatic@kbin.social
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        1 年前

        not in this economy

    • Diplomjodler@lemmy.world
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      1 年前

      That’s crazy talk!

  • Zagorath@aussie.zone
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    1 年前

    Save up, go on a nice holiday overseas.

    Save up, buy a house.

    Take up a new expensive hobby like cycling or photography.

    Donate to charity.

    Donate to worthy political causes.

    Get a dopamine hit from seeing number go up.

    So many options.

    • Omgarm@lemmy.world
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      1 年前

      Fund a random Twitch streamer’s life while you stay at home doing nothing.

    • TurtlePower@lemm.ee
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      1 年前

      Donate to worthy political causes.

      Buy a politician and actually change shit.

      • Kidplayer_666@lemm.ee
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        1 年前

        Buying a politician is expensive, here at Bribes.inc we’ve been trying to come up with a solution to achieve your goals for a lower price, and I’m proud to announce our new product, The Middle Ranking Bureaucrat. With it you’ll be able to perform all your goals at a fraction of a cost and a lot less risk. Want to evade taxes? Middle Ranking bureaucrat does that. Commit fraud and identity theft? We got you covered. Change how often a law is actually applied so you can advocate for its expansion or retraction? You bet. Call now 555-555-555 or come and talk to use at any of our agencies

      • Zagorath@aussie.zone
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        1 年前

        That’s a slightly more direct way of phrasing it, yes.

      • muix@lemmy.sdf.org
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        1 年前

        So You Want to Bribe a Politician

    • BlanketsWithSmallpox@lemmy.world
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      1 年前

      Put money into retirement.

      On average people need over $1,000,000 in it to retire comfortably now.

    • ed_cock@feddit.de
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      1 年前

      Become a patron of the arts and help some students through university.

      Work less.

      Withdraw it in coins to throw at poor people.

    • idunnololz@lemmy.world
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      1 年前

      Yes. Buy lots and lots of options.

    • lurch (he/him)@sh.itjust.works
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      1 年前

      deleted by creator

      • CustodialTeapot@lemmy.world
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        1 年前

        Are you okay?

        • lurch (he/him)@sh.itjust.works
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          1 年前

          deleted by creator

  • rustyfish@lemmy.world
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    1 年前

    Start playing Magic. Your money will go POOF in no time.

    • archon@sh.itjust.works
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      1 年前

      See also: 40k minis, aka plastic crack.

      • RobertOwnageJunior@lemmy.world
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        1 年前

        Alternatively DnD minis, they are mostly cheaper, so you can buy even more!

        • mihnt@lemmy.world
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          1 年前

          Truck full of green army men?

          • PunnyName@lemmy.world
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            1 年前

            Buy another truck full of Muscle Men, then make floorplans using dominoes pieces, and have the army men fight the muscle men.

            Aren’t men die in 1 hit. Muscle Men die in 3 hits. MM are melee only, AM mostly have range. Line of sight matters.

            Or, your know, don’t copy what I did as a kid, and make your own rules. Whatever, man!

        • EmergMemeHologram@startrek.website
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          1 年前

          DnD minis are a 3D printer gateway drug. You have been warned.

      • skeeter_dave@sh.itjust.works
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        1 年前

        Homeboy needs to start collecting titans, they make the minis look cheap.

    • IndiBrony@lemmy.world
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      Ah, a man of culture!

    • ThirdWorldOrder@lemm.ee
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      Dunno I made 12k selling my cards back in 2019. Played back in the revised/ice age days

      • beetus@lemmy.world
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        1 年前

        “time travel to 1994 and play mtg, save the cards for 25 years then sell!” Great advice for anon :)

        • ThirdWorldOrder@lemm.ee
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          1 年前

          If you’re time traveling don’t forget the baseball almanac

          • TurtlePower@lemm.ee
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            1 年前

            *sports

            Great Scott! It was a Grays Sports Almanac, not just baseball.

            • ThirdWorldOrder@lemm.ee
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              1 年前

              Thank you… been a few decades lol

              • TurtlePower@lemm.ee
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                1 年前

                Time for a rewatch!

  • Neil@lemmy.ml
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    I’ve been in this situation.

    Get married to a single mom and you’ll be broke again in less than a year and in debt the next. That’s the quickest way to lose all of your money.

    • ryathal@sh.itjust.works
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      Didn’t go the single mom route, but a wife and kids takes care of the free time and money problem.

    • DoomBot5@lemmy.world
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      Single family cruise costs as much as everything OP purchased put together.

    • arin@lemmy.world
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      Ugh plz don’t

  • minibyte@sh.itjust.works
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    1 年前

    Max 401k, Roth IRA, and HSA contributions. Buy a fleshlight.

    • grue@lemmy.world
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      1 年前

      There are way too many comments in this thread for it to be okay that yours is the only one mentioning investing for retirement.

      • Jessica@discuss.tchncs.de
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        1 年前

        Just goes to show you how few of your peers are actually saving for retirement

        • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
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          1 年前

          In this economy?

          • jaybone@lemmy.world
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            1 年前

            In this day and age?

      • slaacaa@lemmy.world
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        Right? I’m baffled I had to scroll down this far for a mention of investing, which was my immediate answer, after reading the greentext. And it’s absolutely the thing everybody should be doing with part of their money

      • sir_pronoun@lemmy.world
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        I’m just thankful someone finally mentioned buying a fleshlight

    • Drinvictus@discuss.tchncs.de
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      Don’t forget the kids’ 529

      • Kimjongtooill@sh.itjust.works
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        I don’t think Anon will have to worry about that one…

    • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@reddthat.com
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      Also, if you are technically self-employed, 401k + self-employed IRA provides a lot of room for more tax benefits. If you manage to fill those, then you can always open a brokerage account to put additional savings.

      Broad market index funds are a popular choice.

      Eventually retire so you have time to play those video games and get sleep.

  • Faceman🇦🇺@discuss.tchncs.de
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    Could even pay for porn at that point, crazy!

    • miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml
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      I’m all for it.

      Support ethical porn sites that meet their actresses and actors with the respect they deserve.

  • Kraivo@lemmy.world
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    1 年前

    Depends on character traits of anon.

    Some invest/gamble

    Some hoard wealth

    Some uses it fight boredom like going to places, travelling, hobbies, etc.

    Some try sharing with others or straight up doing charities

    • psivchaz@reddthat.com
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      This list is missing hookers and cocaine.

      • Kraivo@lemmy.world
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        It’s hobbies

    • theangryseal@lemmy.world
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      If all of my money had gone into a charity it would have been, “Junkies Helping Junkies Not Get Dope Sick No More”. :p

      Here at junkies, we split shots. We don’t get high. You found some dope on a gas station floor? Three people won’t get sick today. Or, Brenda will convince you that her tolerance is insane because of a recent stay at the hospital, she’ll get half and we’ll split half. She’ll nod out and she won’t be welcome at Junkies Helping Junkies Not Get Dope Sick No More no more.

      For real though, been sober for at least a decade at this point. It is crazy how much money people burn through with that little hobby. I don’t miss that life and I’m thankful to be away from it, so if I did accidentally become wealthy I’d give some back to the community that helped me get here. I’d drop by some local AA and NA groups and drop a pile of money under the 1s pretty often.

      • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        I’ve never tried it, but I love this comment.

  • BudgieMania@kbin.social
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    If you are young and there’s nothing you really want to do with a significant amount of money, your emergency savings are decently big, and you don’t intend to make a significant purchase in the near to mid future, then you find yourself a tax-free retirement account, a world index fund and an S&P 500 index fund and distribute money across them with the priority being reaching whatever is the max in the first one

  • vsh@lemm.ee
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    Removed by mod

    • Lux (it/they)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      But what if they win and just get more money?

      • RealFknNito@lemmy.world
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        Keep gambling. The secret is that the house always wins it back eventually.

    • danielbln@lemmy.world
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      Also, ladies of the night and nose clams.

    • Pieresqi@lemmy.world
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      Gacha games are better. At least you get something 👍👍

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        Got?

  • fury@lemmy.world
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    • Save an emergency fund of 6-12 months of expenses. You never know when the rug will get pulled out from under you.
    • Pay off all debts.
    • Save at least 15% of income into retirement accounts (not counting any matches).
    • Give to charity or random internet persons.
    • Buy a house.
    • Pay it off.
    • Max all retirement accounts, invest in some mutual funds, give more.
    • spujb@lemmy.cafe
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      consider also investing in your community. find local organizations or mutual aid networks, help friends out and in general find ways to build other people up so that they can be there for you if you ever fall on hard times.

  • RealFknNito@lemmy.world
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    Invest it until you can quit job. The old people call that retiring.

    • DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works
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      Retiring isn’t real, it’s just an old legend…

      • Reddfugee42@lemmy.world
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        Like single income families

        • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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          I guess I don’t exist then. 😞

          • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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            Did you guys hear something?

  • DoomBot5@lemmy.world
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    Vacations, where every trip costs like a mid range gaming pc.

  • shani66@ani.social
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    Unironically anon has cracked the big secret of capitalism; the end goal doesn’t matter until someone is trying to steal it from you, and they will try because some people are sick in the head

    • wrath_of_grunge@kbin.social
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      the big secret is that money is not the end goal. money is merely a tool to let you do other things you want to do. it’s not an end, just a means.

      • shani66@ani.social
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        I was going to disagree based on culture, but my disagreement really just boils down to that being a way bigger secret. So i guess you right.

    • WhiteHawk@lemmy.world
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      Not really, there’s plenty of things you can spend your money on if you have goals and hobbies.

      • shani66@ani.social
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        Anon already did that, good hobbies don’t necessitate a constant flow of cash

        • WhiteHawk@lemmy.world
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          That depends on the hobby, very many do.

  • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
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    Send me $400 to buy a telescope lmao

  • jaybone@lemmy.world
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    Buy some more avocado toast?

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