I was at a wedding tonight and everyone on the dance floor seemed to know what to do with their hands while dancing. I just can’t seem to figure it out.
Executive function.
I wish I didn’t have this giant penis.
Well spit it out
I’m constantly tripping over mine
I’d settle for a non-shy bladder (a social bladder? An extroverted bladder?)
I’ll trade you! I have to pee about every 20 minutes due to malnurishment as a kid.
A properly functioning neocortex.
Hair
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I feel like long hair would also help out in other facets of life.
A functional pancreas. Worked perfectly fine for 27 years, then my body just decided it was evil. Super neat.
Smooth joints, by the time I was 14 I already had clicky joints and now if I stand or sit in the wrong way I need to click them back in
My ankles, wrists, fingers and hips pop so loud the secret police would hear it from down the road and bust me in the attic
The ability to snap my fingers. I can barely make a sound when doing it.
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I feel like long fingers would also help out in other facets of life.
Can confirm, got long fingers, can reach the bottom of most jars.
Make an OK symbol with your middle finger
Move every finger except your index finger to your palm as close to your wrist as possible (in a comfortable manner)
Adjust your thumb so it is on the edge of your middle finger closer to your pinkie (this is to cause more friction between your middle finger and thumb)
Press down with your middle finger and then move your thumb, as quickly as possible, to around where your index finger is
If it works, it’ll cause some burning on your finger and a loud noise, you can massage your palm where the middle finger hits if it’s still muffled, it’s likely stiff.
I definitely misread this and thought you said to put my index on my palm, so I was doing it that way, resting my thumb in my index finger. Definitely not as good as the actual method. Absolutely needs practice, though. Thanks for the help.
Which finger do you use other than your thumb? I use my rong finger, but I’ve seen others that use the middle. I’m sure some wierdo is out there mastering the pointer thumb technique
Middle. I’ve never heard of people using any other fiber, so it’s what I use.
A big fluffy tail.
Maschendrahtzaun Maschendrahtzaun :(
Private jet?
I don’t think that’s relatively minor to most
Public transport would count for USians, maybe cheap flights for Asians
Pleeeeeeaaasse. It’s just one tiny little private jet and maybe one little tiny pilot to fly me. I hate traveling by air so much. What could be less minor? I think you should reconsider.
you can get private flights to anywhere legal for about 40k dollars
Almost worth it. I spent 20 hours getting home (Florida) from Canada, 36 hours getting home from Tennessee and 15 hours getting home from Colorado. I’m finding more and more that the airlines have little value-add and that doesn’t even include the nightmare that is the TSA .
Wish I could whistle but I guess I just gotta practice. Also my friends can do that thing where you can move your pectorals but I can’t do that
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I feel like long lips would also help out in other facets of life.
Do you go to the gym, or do pushups frequently? If you do, you should manage to do that thing with the pectorals after a while
I got a buff af friend who’s trying to be a body builder, he’s not able to do it
Being an actual person where everything I do isn’t too fancy, wannabe grown, picky, spoiled, or out of my league. I want to wear fun clothes and makeup without everyone gawking at it for trying too hard to look like a real person, or everyone angry that it has nice things it doesn’t deserve. And probably the ability to enjoy music since I lost that after every single genre I enjoyed was either below society or trying too hard to be More Than.
People are useless stupid cunts
Slightly thicker wrists. Skinny wrists ruin the aesthetics of my arms.
Needlewrist Ned checking in
