The video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWZAbKU-JzE

My problem is with associating it with feminism, it’s offensive to me and factually inaccurate. TERF talking points are usually gender essentializing in a way that is contrary with radical feminist viewpoints, for example, and lots of TERFs now distance themselves from feminism intentionally as they coalition with the right-wing. “Gender critical feminism” is not feminism at all, and better characterized as fundamentally anti-trans rather than fundamentally feminist.

Oh, sorry - it was hard for me to follow your comment as well, but here’s my understanding:

We read about OP sharing nudes with a friend.

TERF warns OP that they are sharing nudes not with a fellow woman, but with a man (TERF is assuming friend was a trans woman, assumes OP is a cis woman).

We expect OP to reveal they are actually a trans woman, but instead we learn OP and his friend are cis men.

Does this seem right?

Sorry, these moments make me feel like I must be autistic or something, lol

I’m not sure I understand what the transphobe is saying (I don’t want to call these people radical feminists, they’re not).

She sees an exchange where two people talk about exchanging nudes, and she assumes they were both trans women, so she thinks she’s exposing them as men because they aren’t acting like women (who would never share nude photos of themselves)?

It’s honestly confusing to me (lots of cis women share nude photos, though not usually to their friends AFAIK).

awww 🥹

Oh boy.

First of all, form good “sleep hygiene” habits, read: https://health.arizona.edu/sites/default/files/data/Sleep Hygiene.pdf

A lot of it is obvious, like go to bed at the same time every night (set a timer to get yourself reliable at first!), and wake up at the same time every morning. Give yourself more “sleep opportunity” than the hours you want to sleep so you actually get enough sleep (e.g. if you want to sleep 8 hours, maybe give yourself 10 hours in bed with the lights out).

Don’t use screens several hours before bed, don’t do anything but sleep in your bed, and wind-down before bed with something like reading a book (again, in a chair in another room, not in your bed).

Now for more advanced tips I’ve learned from dealing with insomnia:

A problem I have sometimes had is that tasks like meditation can actually cause me to become more alert, and it turns out meditation actually does cause insomnia.

When struggling with meditation related insomnia, I got lots of practice navigating falling asleep.

What I found most helpful was rather than focusing on an object in a meditation like way, to instead allow mind-wandering and rumination and to try to cultivate a lack of metacognitive awareness about that rumination. Basically, the opposite of meditation. Meditators will hopefully know what I mean by this - but basically, don’t pay too much attention to what you are thinking, just get absorbed into the mind-wandering.

Sometimes if the mind-wandering leads to thoughts or feelings that are “strong” or engaging enough it can prevent me from sleeping, like when I’m anxious or my mind is preparing or rehearsing for an important event or the next day. In that case, a little bit of meta-awareness can be helpful to alert you to the need to redirect your rumination to something actively boring or benign.

In the most extreme instances, I visualize myself working in a factory performing a repetitive motion like pulling a level to operate a press. I essentially constantly try to pay attention to that mundane task and ensure that it remains mundane / uninteresting - just keep pulling the lever and keep paying attention to that task. This is akin to the counting sheep method, but I always found counting sheep too interesting or engaging of a task.

After hours of boredom I usually lose consciousness.

Sometimes I threaten myself with getting out of bed, and often in response I feel a resistance and that makes me realize how tired I actually am, and I threaten myself with doing something boring like sitting in a chair and staring at a wall. Sometimes that is enough to kick me out of my energized thinking into a milder / more boring and repetitive mind-wandering that leads to dreams and unconsciousness.

Sometimes I actually do have to get out of bed and do something, often I will stretch and if I’m not feeling overwhelmed with sleep that way, I find it helpful to exhaust myself with forearm planks - just hold until you can’t anymore (you can also use a timer for 30 seconds or 60 seconds, whatever pushes you past comfort but all the way to failure), maybe try this a couple times. You will sweat and it’s miserable the whole time, and you will be tired and want to crawl back into bed. That has helped me fall asleep really well before, and sometimes I think it’s because the blood also gets into my muscles and somehow this helps me relax.

Anyway, hope this helps!

That does assume the kid has the time and resources to hang together a costume even if homemade. I was maybe a preteen when this happened, so that may have played into some adults’ hesitancy to give me candy, but also looking back I just think the people in the neighborhood I was in had bad values. I also had zero time for a costume, I wasn’t planning on trick-or-treating at all, and it was only because my friends were kind enough to invite me anyway.

But I would give candy to teens, adults, or kids regardless of whether they have a costume or not. :-)

Are you, in your estimation, intelligent?

No. Particularly I get the impression other people get things faster than me, and I seem to have to do more cognitive labor than my peers. I guess I would ask what “intelligence” is, that seems like a difficult thing to quantify or answer.

Are you wise in the way you apply that intelligence? (interpretation yours)

No, I generally consider myself unwise. (It takes me a long time to learn from my mistakes or change self-destructive behaviors, etc. - it often feels like I have trouble “adulting”.)

Do you view yourself as unique and individual, or as a data point on the spectrum of humanity?

Both, how else could it be? (We are both subjects and objects, unique but usually only slight variations of a theme.)

The only time I went without a costume as a kid was because I lived in a dysfunctional household and I was super stressed and didn’t have enough time or support to plan a costume - so I threw on an oversized coat and went with my friends; some adults tried to give me trouble and refused me candy, and that was a bummer because I felt like I had failed … anyway - I guess my point is that maybe some kids are being lazy or something, but you don’t really know.

I personally would definitely give kids candy regardless, but I wish people would actually trick-or-treat where I live, it makes me so sad that nobody does.

I see propublica, I upvote

In fact, this whole elections thing is just so expensive, a burdensome cost to the people. Wouldn’t you prefer to save money and enjoy the reduced risk with knowing a qualified expert is running things (\s)

(this legit is how the Heritage Foundation sounds)

I think it’s important to clarify what is left or right because that’s how people talk and think - a lot of political language is warped or difficult to clarify. When I explain what liberals are to people in the U.S. they simply refuse to believe me. They think “liberal” can only mean “the left” and this has a whole set of assumptions built into it. When I ask them about the Liberal party in Australia they legitimately don’t understand it, and it seems like people are extremely stubborn around political topics and unwilling to believe you when you say something so against their understanding.

I think whether a “communist” or “socialist” is left-wing depends on a few things, I don’t consider Marxist-Leninism a left-wing movement or ideology for example.

I also tend to be skeptical that ideology is relevant to political movements, and that most of the time politics is reduced to the struggle of different constituents who pragmatically use ideology to manipulate people into supporting that constituency. Much like racism was leveraged to get the agrarian, southern whites in the U.S. to vote for the interests of wealthy landowners in that region, I think ideological promises or affiliations are often used to whip up support and then dropped once elected in favor of whatever is needed to get things done.

Sometimes I think ideology applies, it’s hard to understand the particular flavor of George W. Bush’s imperialism without understanding the Christian motivation to wage a religious war, but even that is ultimately more about civilizational struggle" than it is about any particular religious or theological belief.

Anyway, I just mean to say that most political language sabotages political understanding, and that maybe understanding is a tricky endeavor.

You can also order online (that’s what I do, my local Lush store closed and had limited inventory even when it was open).

I don’t really see what is wrong with authentically egalitarian politics, so I’m inclined to think the “center” is just a euphemism for right-wing.

If a left wing movement fails in its egalitarianism, like when the USSR had slave camps, then I think we should not think of that movement as left wing at all, it just fails the definition of being left wing.

The common response to this is that it is a form of no true scotsman fallacy, which I think could be a legitimate concern since you might define a left wing ideal as the definition and anything failing to live up to the perfection of that ideal is not “left”. But on the other hand, I don’t know how else to consider some politics authentically egalitarian and worth supporting and others inauthentic or corrupt and embodying hierarchical or right-wing tendencies. Maybe there is no bright line we can draw or reduce to a logical equation, but I would like to think there is still some value in evaluating which politics to support (i.e. which politics are furthering egalitarian means or ends).

yeah, definitions are hard, but in general I tend to think of the right as promoting traditional hierarchy and the left as being egalitarian.

I think being afraid early ballots won’t be counted is just playing into their hand because it prevents you from voting early - they probably want as many people to wait for election day as possible so people will bail on extremely long lines, they can try to shut down polling locations, they probably hope that people have emergencies or other issues that prevent them from voting, etc.

This is just classic voter suppression.

EDIT: I also wanted to point out that Republicans are pushing early voting this year, so they are unlikely to throw out early ballots as a strategy (whereas that seemed like a strategy they were trying to pull in the past, hence the flip-flopping on whether to vote early when in the past they encouraged only voting on election day).

Either way: please, please guarantee your vote is counted, do not risk it.

Checkout Lush!

Some things I like:

• face masks
• bath bombs (Lush is great for this)
• lip scrubs
• manicures and doing my nails (I like to soak my hands and use cuticle cutters and pushers to clean up the nails, nail clippers and files, etc. to shape and clean up the nail, then I usually do a typical varnish, but the equipment to do gel nails would be nice if she’s into that).
• I like to use scented candles when taking baths (I love Frostbeard’s Reading at the Cafe candle, which smells like chocolate pastries)
• epsom salts are also great for baths, and there are quite a variety of these now (as well as magnesium bath bombs)
• a basin to put hot water and epsom salts in for soaking the feet can be really nice, too (helps with pedicures to soak the feet, too)
• I’ve heard good things about those paraffin wax baths, but I don’t personally use them at home
• if you are into it, you could get some massage oil and offer to give a massage

A lot of things like eye creams can be sorta expensive and if she doesn’t have a go-to for a daily routine already, it might be a way to treat her by leveling up or giving her extra skin care products she might want normally but goes without (but I can’t help but think this would require some conversation to know what she would want exactly - I don’t know how crucial it is that the gifts are a surprise).

let’s keep it that way, the right-wing should be unwelcome everywhere

Who did she vote for?

Yes, lots of trans people live in Texas and Florida, that’s exactly what is terrifying about these laws - there are real victims.