• hperrin@lemmy.ca
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    2 hours ago

    At $30 per haircut, you’d need about 8 billion haircuts skipped to save that much. Dude must cut his own hair every few milliseconds.

  • BreadOven@lemmy.world
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    4 hours ago

    Maybe he can just try out one more haircut. Maybe to just below the chin. Preferably with a large blade falling from some height. All you need is a basket infront to catch anything that falls off.

  • vane@lemmy.world
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    8 hours ago

    Jeff Bezos cooking recipie.
    Not need to shave Jeff Bezos before put him in oven.
    Just stuff him like a chicken.

  • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca
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    8 hours ago

    #2 clipper and I do it myself. I try as best I can to chop away the gorilla fur from my neck to my shoulders with the beard attachment of my razor. ta dah.

    • Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone
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      9 hours ago

      Jesus christ.

      Are you a woman and is that USD?

      The most I’ve ever paid was $65AUD for a hearcut and beard trim in a mining town where the majority earned over 200k a year

      • Beesbeesbees@lemmy.world
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        9 hours ago

        Yes, a woman, and yes USD. That’s the no-frills salon price for a trim for my hair which is “long/thick (curly)”. The more expensive places range into the $200s.

  • dbtng@eviltoast.org
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    12 hours ago

    I stopped cutting my hair when Covid closed all the barbers. Got a fukin mane now. Dunno, seems to have worked out. Still waiting for my billions tho …

      • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
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        1 day ago

        It’s getting a 200K funding from your dad that’s the real trick. He also worked for a large company making money at the time, he wasn’t trying to survive.

        • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.todayOP
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          23 hours ago

          Plenty of people have received far more than that from their dads. There must be something else.

    • Thorry84@feddit.nl
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      1 day ago

      3 years? I’ve been bald for 20 years and I’m 300K down the hole, when does this trick kick in exactly?

    • IndiBrony@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Mate I was balding when I was 19 and went full cue ball when I was 23. I’m 36 now. Where the fuck is my money??!

      • Nightwatch Admin@feddit.nl
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        1 day ago

        You and me both, my friend… remember Balding Elon Musk? I think it’s not so much the lack of hair, more like the lack of ethics.

  • Sundray@lemmus.org
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    1 day ago

    There’s more going on here the just the lack of hair. What secrets is he keeping under that shiny dome of his?

    We must go deeper.

  • CaptDust@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    Steve Jobs would wear the exact same outfit, Every. Single. Day. That’s the kind of dedication needed, most people aren’t cut out for it.

      • Skullgrid@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        He didn’t even buy any expensive cancer medicine, he just drank smoothies.

        /uj I’m not even making this shit up, he tried to beat his cancer with regulating his diet to include various fruits and vegetables and ended up using his private jet to jump ques on multiple organ donations , because , get this, YOU CAN’T BEAT CANCER BY EATING MORE FUCKING FRUIT.

          • lars@lemmy.sdf.org
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            3 hours ago

            I wonder just how much money he would have donated to fascists by now. Rest in peace, micromanaging megalomaniac monster.

        • BurntWits@sh.itjust.works
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          8 hours ago

          Buy a DE safety razor. The initial razor isn’t as cheap as some other options but blades are dirt cheap. The standard recommendation for a safety razor is the Merkur 34C, though I’ve never used it. I’m currently using the Henson AL13 and it’s fantastic, plus it’s made in Canada which was the main selling point for me. My wife loves the AL13 too, she has super sensitive skin plus a lot of skin issues and she hasn’t had any problems shaving with it, where she would normally have burning and itching for days. It’s not on the cheaper end but also not luxury prices either.

          • bitwolf@sh.itjust.works
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            1 hour ago

            I love my Henson also.

            I’m super lazy and don’t use shaving cream or oil. But I can easily shave after showering with just water.

            I had a one blade, and it worked great if you did the whole nine yards, but it sucked if you dont use shaving cream.

            The Henson works better with less effort than even a 5 blade imo

    • NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz
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      1 day ago

      Avocados are so expensive, that’s why Jeff turned his head into a giant avocado pit. Infinite avocado hack! ~whenever he finally decides to bury his stupid fucking head underground~