I’d pick 9, 9, 9
5, 6 & 9
The only way
2, 6 and 9.
9 would go towards building affordable housing in my area, which would make 6 happen.
2 just 'cause.
#2 is straight up torture. No matter how much you eat, you cannot stop losing weight. Your body no longer retains nutrients as it passes right through you
Depends on if the descriptions are jackass genie rules or not. If it’s being genuine, it means you won’t gain any excess weight beyond what’s healthy. 1 and 3 seem like descriptions ripe for abuse as well.
1: Thinner!
3: You can no longer get things you need because you are unable to shop.
It says you can’t gain weight. I’m already overweight, and about max for what I can be to keep my job (military) and not totally break down. So if “can’t gain weight” means this is my max weight and no matter what I do I can’t go past it, that makes a comfortable hard stop for future efforts toward dieting.
2 is slow death. Body always losing weight and you will no longer get it
You loved one dies, you feel happy. You are in logical despair but can’t feel it.
I’ll pass
You can be happy and sad at the same time. It doesn’t say you can’t be sad.
What number is that?
6
2 (as long as that means I can’t go past my current weight, not that every time I poop, sweat, or pee I lose weight I can never regain) 5… and I guess 9. I’m doing okay, and I’ve never had a strong need for “a lot of money.”
5 isn’t even because I want to have super strength, it’s more to be able to compensate for my jacked up joints and being overweight.
I would trade any of the three of these for “cure my sleep apnea” though.
1 sounds tempting, as long as it’s just the insulation, you know? I don’t know a whole lot about biology, but I feel like if you immediately removed all fats from your body, your cells would just die (all the lipids disappearing). But if you could remove all the fat listed in the “body fat percentage” and made it so I could still get some fats quickly (for a healthy amount), I’d take that over 2. Once it’s there, it makes it so hard to get rid of, but I feel like if it was gone in one go, I could keep it off.
Wow, my decisions for “magic pills” would be kind of depressing to 20-year-old me. At least with the exception of my health I’m reasonably content.
That calls for a monkey’s paw
- There’s literally no more fat in your body. Your cells burst, you die immediately.
- You’re not able to gain weight, but you still lose it. Every time you sweat, breathe out, go to the restroom - you lose weight. In a matter of month or two, you die from exhaustion.
- Now you can’t buy groceries and really anything you want or need and are forever reliant on others to provide you with anything you didn’t yourself produce.
- The height increase is achieved by all your organs instantly extending, causing internal injuries and disabilities and now many physical stresses can kill you.
- You’re so strong you cannot adequately measure it, and have to be very careful not to break everything around you.
- You’re always happy. You’re never able to grieve, or reflect, or do anything. You’ve lost any reason to progress, or even really sustain yourself. You die in bliss on the streets.
- Followers are invading all of your personal life. They doxx you, follow you everywhere, try to document every moment of your existence. You cannot have peace and solitude ever again.
- You forgot your ex. You also forgot every good moment in your life you ever had together, and are left wondering what is that void in your brain. You will never know what happened. But someone, somewhere out there who is your ex will.
- Inflation came strong, and now everyone has millions upon millions of dollars. Too bad they’re only worth a few rolls of toilet paper.
There are people who cannot grow or simply don’t have any fat cells. It’s a surprisingly debilitating condition, but you don’t immediately die from it.
Fats are a normal component of any cell membrane, and if we’re talking no fats whatsoever, there would be no membrane to speak of.
It’s not just about the storage cells.
This is what I thought too when I read them, the last one (money) was the only one I didn’t see any problems with. It made me think about the post about picking a superpower and the first comment was your side effect for using it but this was the other way around, pick your side effect haha
Oh definitely 1 then
- Just 9.
I only want 5 and 9.
Easy: 3x Pill No. 9 please.
One for me (depends on what “a Lot of Money” means), and the other two i will use to either: a) give to Close Friends and/or Family B) a complete Stranger from the streets C) keep in storage for my Offspring when they are in a Pinch of losing the family wealth that i built
No one says you gonna take the pills you Pick. Certainly that way you could also Take 2x No. 1 for your worst enemies (or CEOs)
Everyone’s going to pick 9, right?
You are now a proud citizen of Zimbabwe, you own trillions of useless bills.
Still better than none
Isn’t 8 that Jim Carrey movie?
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Mfw when I watched it with my ex lmao
The last movie me and my ex watched together was Synecdoche, NY which basically gave him permission to toss me out like an old newspaper, since he read the message of that film as “other people are interchangeable background characters in your life.”
I think some of these need clarification 😅
That is by far the shittiest version of the “which pill/superpower/xyz ?” that I’ve seen.
“No more fat”, “Have many followers” and fucking “Increase 5cm height” nearly gave me an aneurysm. This meme is a good pick for the community.
Yeah what does even “no more fat” means? You can’t eat fat any more? Or all the fat is removed from you (which would kill you)?
Also, get me a -5cm height for my 198cm, that would be perfect.
It means that all your hard drives would be converted to NTFS from FAT32
I thought this was Linux land, surely it’d be ZFS no?
203cm clocking in, and I completely agree with you
Hey now… I’d totally take the extra 5cm. Maybe 15cm.
I would, too. It’s just… At least write something like “increase own height by 5cm”.
I think “many followers” means being famous?
And the “increase 5cm” has a strategic new line. I thought for about 0.3 seconds that a rude had snuck in.
No, many followers really means that. It also implies that you’ll need a much larger bathroom.
if i chose six, i wouldnt need any of the others.
1 is the monkey’s paw answer and a trap. Fat is necessary for survival. Fats literally make up the outside of every cell in your body.
2 is still dangerous, because it might just be tapeworm eggs.
Is 3 just a servant who shops for you? Or is it just that you are no longer addicted to compulsive shopping?
4 Will cause you the most agonizing pain of your life as virtually every bone and muscle gets ripped apart and re-knit, and as someone who’s 6’4, it has its upsides, but having literally everything made for people shorter than you REALLY sucks, from doorways and light fixtures, even to rollercoasters which nearly remove your legs because of awful design (or just won’t close over your shoulders)
5 is nice. Go with 5. It’ll be painful, but potentially worth it in a pinch, as long as it also grants you control of that strength.
6 is another trap, since small amounts of stress are actually really important, and in order to be constantly happy, your brain would lose the ability to feel it unless it continually increased the dopamine drip. Eventually, you would kill for the ability to stop.
7 I mean, sure, if that’s what you want. Would be nice to know what kind of followers? Are they going to be religious and try to pull a Life of Brian on you?
8 is the worst, because you have no control over the extent of the memory wipe. This is existentially terrifying
9 is the safest, but then you go and read that post about why winning the lottery means you’re fucked.
The surefire safest calls are probably 9, 7, and 3, since they wouldn’t actually affect your body, unless you’re the kind of person who likes playing roulette with the sort of pills you get for free on the street.
2 would eventually kill you, just more slowly than 1. Unless you never forget to eat and are always able to.
How. Two is just don’t gain weight. It doesn’t say anything about losing weight or about healthy nutrition. For those of us with a tendency to gain, this is all positive.
My most pressing health concern under my control is my weight. As an adult already overweight, I would be very happy to at least never weigh more than I do now
Check your weight in the morning then later in the day. It always fluctuates, with your overnight fast/ not drinking water making you lose some weight if you couldn’t gain any but could still lose weight, you’d eventually wither away.
Umm well i didn’t need the 1 and 2 and 3 so i was about to take 7 9 5 but after seeing that i am scared to even choices anything
None please
