I think the trick to it is that you shouldn’t force any situations like this to have any sort of outcome, just keep yourself open to new people. Like set up situations where you can meet new people, and have your attitude be “I’d like to get to know you, so we can either be friends, more than friends or never meet again if that’s how it shakes out”, and just keeping it low stakes. And then just try to get into those situations as much as you can.
I was pretty shy when I started college and have always disliked social events. I skipped a few years in highschool so I was young when I started. Combined with working 30+ hours a week to pay for college and my social life was pretty dead.
My junior/senior year I decided to sit next to the most beautiful woman in class on day one. I would then smile, say hello, and leave them alone. Then smile, say goodbye at the end of class and leave.
A few weeks of this and most of them started talking to me a bit before or after class. By mid-terms I was friendly with a few beautiful women and had a couple dates. The last quarter of my senior year, I sat down next to my now wife.
I did get called out by my wife on knowing so many beautiful women when we were dating. She was a bit annoyed but I did sit down next to her after all.
2.5 years. So is it a couple or a few? I started college when I turned 16.
I ended up being a burned out after my 2nd year in college and I turned 18. I had also amassed some savings by working so much. So I bought a ticket to Europe and bummed around for a couple years. When I started back up I was the same age as everyone else.
My friend group was always on the nerdier side in high school. One thing I’m really glad we did come senior year was we’d play poker, and the loser, if single, would be have to go and ask a random gal out on a date (with the rest of the group trying-yet-failing to act casual hanging out nearby to make sure it happened lol)
It’s liberating to know that, as long as you’re not being a creep, you can just talk to someone you think is cute and ask them out. It was especially nice to know back in the high school days lol.
Generally, yes, but if you’re a pleasant person to be around you can easily get things going from lectures as well. You just need to strike up a conversation like a normal person and be friendly. The problem most of these people have is they treat women like something to be won, when instead they’re just people.
I feel I get that way when I’m out of practice for too long. These days, I just need a bit of coffee and I’m usually good to go with some light small talk lol.
That’s what I meant though. It shouldn’t be “a thing.” It’s just a conversation. Group conversations are still conversations. You just have to see them as people, not as a goal. Once you get to know them and you find out of you actually like them, as a person, then you can more easily persue them without seeming weird.
Don’t they? The culture might be different in different schools or different generations, but I’ve made quite a few friends just by chatting with people in the lecture halls before class.
Also, when people say meet others at college they don’t mean in the classes, especially not in the lecture halls lol. They mean in the social events…
I met the love of my life at a literal exam.
I think the trick to it is that you shouldn’t force any situations like this to have any sort of outcome, just keep yourself open to new people. Like set up situations where you can meet new people, and have your attitude be “I’d like to get to know you, so we can either be friends, more than friends or never meet again if that’s how it shakes out”, and just keeping it low stakes. And then just try to get into those situations as much as you can.
I was pretty shy when I started college and have always disliked social events. I skipped a few years in highschool so I was young when I started. Combined with working 30+ hours a week to pay for college and my social life was pretty dead.
My junior/senior year I decided to sit next to the most beautiful woman in class on day one. I would then smile, say hello, and leave them alone. Then smile, say goodbye at the end of class and leave.
A few weeks of this and most of them started talking to me a bit before or after class. By mid-terms I was friendly with a few beautiful women and had a couple dates. The last quarter of my senior year, I sat down next to my now wife.
I did get called out by my wife on knowing so many beautiful women when we were dating. She was a bit annoyed but I did sit down next to her after all.
Wholesome ending.
Though, I am a bit confused by
Did your high school have more than 4 years? When I think of “a few,” I think “at least 3,” but skipping 3 out of 4 years doesn’t sound right.
2.5 years. So is it a couple or a few? I started college when I turned 16.
I ended up being a burned out after my 2nd year in college and I turned 18. I had also amassed some savings by working so much. So I bought a ticket to Europe and bummed around for a couple years. When I started back up I was the same age as everyone else.
My friend group was always on the nerdier side in high school. One thing I’m really glad we did come senior year was we’d play poker, and the loser, if single, would be have to go and ask a random gal out on a date (with the rest of the group trying-yet-failing to act casual hanging out nearby to make sure it happened lol)
It’s liberating to know that, as long as you’re not being a creep, you can just talk to someone you think is cute and ask them out. It was especially nice to know back in the high school days lol.
Generally, yes, but if you’re a pleasant person to be around you can easily get things going from lectures as well. You just need to strike up a conversation like a normal person and be friendly. The problem most of these people have is they treat women like something to be won, when instead they’re just people.
Wish I was normal. I am WAY too socially awkward to start a conversation. Usually I need at least a couple of hours to warm up to somebody.
I feel I get that way when I’m out of practice for too long. These days, I just need a bit of coffee and I’m usually good to go with some light small talk lol.
How do you warm up to someone without having a conversation?
Occupy the same space and have group conversations instead of one-on-ones I guess.
Like, invite people to join your group instead of going out just with you, it’s less threatening and less of a “thing”.
That’s what I meant though. It shouldn’t be “a thing.” It’s just a conversation. Group conversations are still conversations. You just have to see them as people, not as a goal. Once you get to know them and you find out of you actually like them, as a person, then you can more easily persue them without seeming weird.
Yeah, I guess we are thinking the same thing.
Stare them straight in the eye while hip thrusting
Don’t they? The culture might be different in different schools or different generations, but I’ve made quite a few friends just by chatting with people in the lecture halls before class.
Agreed, I made lifelong friends in my college anime club.