This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can’t be giving out 20’s to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say “oh no, I donate to services that help the needy” because that person isn’t necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to “get rid of them” but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I walk faster because I don’t know if they are asking for themselves, checking to steal from you (checking who has money, how much and if it’s kept somewhere they can easily take it) or working for someone worse to kidnap you.
Living in México City does wonders to paranoia.
If I am not in a position to give i look the person in the eye, smile apologetically and say, “no, sorry.” I try not to ignore them and i am never rude. No one has ever reacted badly.
Been there done that. You never, ever know what’s the story behind a beggar. If I have and feel like it and I’m not in a rush I give. This is a fucked up world.
I once experienced , in my 22. I gave out about 10 dol , then got keeping asked (i was too shy to reject!) so at last i gave out 50 dol, all what i took from school my college. bad grammar sry
very bad :/
Say “Sorry can’t help right now”, and keep walking.
My brother has told me many times before that giving them money ain’t gonna do nothing because that’s money that they can use for drugs if they’re addicted. He says buying them food is better.
As messed up as it is, kinda gotta agree, especially since zi don’t know who’s an addict and who’s not.
I normally ignore them because I don’t keep physical cash on me unless I’m making an as discrete as possible purchase. It may sound kinda cruel, but I find it easy for me to just ignore them and pretend they don’t exist. Don’t know whether that’s more of a personality thing with me or because of my autism already making me less likely to wanna deal with people in general.
My name is not “hey mister” so I don’t think it’s rude to ignore. Especially since they’re going to give you a line about having to get gas to visit their kid. Let’s skip the lying and get right to the point.
I tell them the truth, I don’t have any cash on me.
On the rare ocassion i do, I’ll give $10 - $20. Because I’ve been on the position where $20 is the difference between eating today or not, and it’s terrifying.
Yeah same, I give them money, but I don’t usually carry cash.
Have to pretend they’re not there. It’s awful. But I don’t think that if I give them a few quid they’ll turn their life around
I prefer to donate to food banks
I made it a personal rule that if I have a $5, it goes to whoever asks. I don’t seek people out, but if it’s asked, and I have that five dollar bill with me, it’s theirs.
Ignore and donate to a local shelter and/or kitchen. Do not encourage street harassment. I know it sucks and I know a lot of people are hurting. But community aid should not be divided based on who is the loudest, most aggressive, or most “convincingly in need” based on appearance. (If someone is hungry or thirsty by all means hook up the people in need in your community, never hurts to share food and water)
Or who can fight for that begging spot
I give to the obviously mentally impaired ones the most. The last person I gave a 20 to looked straight through me as he talked to god. There is only so much you can do. I know it sucks.
This isn’t the best approach necessarily, but it’s a feel-good thing: If they’re intercepting me as I go to a store, I refuse to give money, but offer to buy them something to eat inside (or whatever else they need). I hold to those promises and they’re generally grateful.
I also sometimes give money if someone isn’t actively accosting about it. It’s down to what I can afford, too.
This is what I did when I used to work downtown and encounter them frequently. They usually tell you why they want money… usually food, but sometimes a bus ticket or gas. I always say I don’t have or won’t give you cash but let’s go and I’ll buy you what you need. More than half of them would give up and walk away when they realized you wouldn’t just give them cash. Never ended buying any gas or a bus ticket, but I did buy quite a few meals and even groceries a couple times. Most were incredibly appreciative.
My wife & I were going into a restaurant one afternoon, and there was a man in a wheelchair with no legs below the knee sitting next door at the exit to Walmart. His sign said that he was a homeless vet. As we started in, I told my wife to hold on, and I ran over and gave him $20. When I got back, my wife said, “Did you just give that guy 20 bucks?” I said, “Yep, why?” She said, “You know he’s just going to spend it on alcohol.” I said, “I hope so, the guy ain’t got no legs, let him have a good drink!”
I heard that story once on reddit tho. Are you just saying a story, or was it you?
That was probably me on Reddit. I’ve probably posted it there on a similar post.
I ask them to come inside the store and I’ll buy them some food.
If they decline, oh well. If they agree, I happily pay for some food for them.
Some of these encounters have broke my heart, others have just reiterated what most people assume when it comes to these things.
If I have cash, I’ll give it. I don’t give a shit whether they’re being honest or not. My generosity is not tempered by the dishonesty of others.
Okay, but the money you gave could have been used to provide community kitchen and shelters. Should community aid be given in cash based on peoples willingness to look convincingly in need? Should assertive street harassment be the default choice to get aid? Everytime you’re tempted to give cash, give that much to a local shelter or kitchen.
Brother not everyone likes the shelter. A lot of homeless people refuse to go because they are dangerous and if you’re trying to quit drugs, well now you’re surrounded by druggies.
You have good intentions, but assistance can’t be locked behind institutional demands. If they wanted to go to the shelter, they would be at the shelter. If they wanted to receive conditional help, they’d be at the shelter.
They are asking you for help, just give it if you can.
when community aid doesn’t actually aid the community - we have lots of shelters with rules against pets, couples, drinking etc., - religious orgs primarily who want to force their values on the victims.
Everytime you’re tempted to give cash, give that much to a local shelter or kitchen.
I disagree, there’s something to be said for helping individuals when you can. And there are lots of individuals who will not seek institutional aid for a number of valid reasons.
Don’t shame people for their choice of giving methods. Shame people who give nothing.
