• OneOrTheOtherDontAskMe@lemmy.world
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    21 hours ago

    I’m fine with ‘they’, but I think you’re misrepresenting the very real problem that is inserting a 3rd-person pronoun as a personal pronoun due to the existing patterns ingrained and interpreted through speech.

    It doesn’t hurt me to try and make the conscious change, I do actively try for the people in my life, but it DOES flow weird in my brain and takes more mental effort to keep straight. At least, it still does, it might get easier with more time, I don’t know.

    • Ziglin (it/they)@lemmy.world
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      1 hour ago

      They has always been a 3rd person personal pronoun just like he/she/it have as far as I know. The thing that people find upsetting is that people want to go back to using it as a singular after some grammarians decided everyone should use he or her for a while.

    • Soup@lemmy.world
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      19 hours ago

      We’ve been doing it for hundreds of years. If you really want to fix something then come up with a plural for “you”; that would be far more helpful.

      You may not notice those times you say “they” like in the examples I already gave, but you do say it, and the only thing tripping you up is that you’re thinking about it. It’s like breathing, it’s weird when you’re paying attention but it’s not wrong and you’ve always done it.

      • anachrohack@lemmy.world
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        4 hours ago

        It’s like you didn’t read their comment at all before replying. Singular they feels natural as a 3rd person pronoun for a party whose gender is unknown. When using it to describe a known person, it feels like you’re talking about an unknown person even though you do know them. It does feel weird to say and makes me pause any time I have to say it

        • Soup@lemmy.world
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          3 hours ago

          Literally you already do it without a problem. You have, and I would bet large sums of money on it, said in regards to someone well know to you “they forgot it at home” or something to that effect. You already do this without thinking, the only extra layer is that you’re trying not to get it wrong, not that it’s difficult to get it right.

          Just practice some more. You still won’t be perfect but these people literally do not care at all so long as you’re trying and aren’t attempting to take their rights away. They have bigger fish to fry.

          • anachrohack@lemmy.world
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            3 hours ago

            If the person is well known to me, I would say he/she (if that’s their pronouns), not the 3rd person “they”

            • Soup@lemmy.world
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              3 hours ago

              Oh, to be there when you say “they” haha

              Or to watch you struggle to force yourself to say he/she so I “lose”.

              It’s ok, we’ve only been doing it for hundreds of years; it’s just a passing fad, right?

              • anachrohack@lemmy.world
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                3 hours ago

                I feel like you’re obtusely ignoring the difference in context between how the non-binary “they” is used (which is a new phenomenon) and how the 3rd person of indefinite gender “they” is used

      • brisk@aussie.zone
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        17 hours ago

        “You” is the plural of “thou”. It even has plural grammar (“you are”, not “you is”)

        • ExhibiCat@lemmynsfw.com
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          5 hours ago

          I thought you was the more respectful form of thou in singular, and “ye” was the plural form of that. In Ireland you still hear ye used for plural you sometimes.

          By more respectful i mean similar to usted in Spanish or vous in French

        • Soup@lemmy.world
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          12 hours ago

          You’re saying that as if you speak to an individual and say “you is”. Do you do that?

            • Soup@lemmy.world
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              12 hours ago

              So, singular “you” also has this “plural grammar” you mention and we don’t say “thou” anymore. So what’s your point, then?

              • brisk@aussie.zone
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                12 hours ago

                That was my point.

                You said find a plural for “you”.

                I said that “you” is already a plural.

                That’s it, there’s nothing deeper.

                • Soup@lemmy.world
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                  12 hours ago

                  Ok, then demand we bring “thou” back with the same fervor. Maybe I’m missing that crusade in your life but if you’re gunna go around acting like “they” is difficult I would expect equal frustration with “you”, no?

                  • brisk@aussie.zone
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                    12 hours ago

                    I don’t recall ever suggesting that “they” is difficult. I have in the past used analogy to “you” to help people get comfortable using “they”.

      • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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        12 hours ago

        I don’t know why you’re being downvoted. You’re correct. Plural they is at least as old as Shakespeare. The notion that it’s only singular is modern.

        • Soup@lemmy.world
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          12 hours ago

          People really don’t want to treat trans people properly and they’ll even pretend shit they already do easily is somehow weird and too difficult. I’m just a cis dude over her, with a host of non-binary friends, and for the most part I just say “they” and haven’t died yet. And I fuck it up sometimes and don’t get hung from the rafters like these goons think will happen, probably because the only scenario they know is when they get it wrong on purpose or are otherwise agitating someone.