it’s time change season so now my internal clock is completely fucked up
Met cool people at a queer event last Saturday. Tried to keep in touch but I had a panic attack when I went to message one of them and it put me off trying again for several days. Couldn’t sleep for a few days so that made it worse. Finally managed to text the one I really wanted to talk to but I guess I took too long because they never replied. I don’t feel like I can ever be around people.
I guess I’m still recovering from leaving my old friend group. Not bad people, but neurodivergent in a way I’m too socially incompetent for. Yesterday I flubbed my words and accidentally expressed the wrong sentiment, and I immediately felt the panic wash over me, because last time I did that, I caused a friend to have a nervous breakdown and start like… rewriting his childhood memories to match what I accidentally said, since it contradicted his lived experience.
Friendship is so high stakes, I always feel like if I say the wrong thing I’m going to ruin someone’s life. I hate being lonely but I don’t know how people can stand it.
That’s wild that someone had such a strong reaction to something you said. But you should really try not to put that on yourself. If you spend time with people who are self assured, they are not going to have that kind of reaction. Yes, it’s nice to do our best to try to make the people around us feel at ease, but genuinely trying is the best you can do. If your best isn’t good enough for someone, that’s when you move on and hopefully find people who are a better fit. I know that’s easier said than done since you’re dealing with some past trauma around friendships, but I hope you’re able to find your people.
I started the week very sleepy lol.
- slept more than i should and still felt tired
- had to take 10 books to the library (4 that i had taken and 6 that i’m donating) and they were heavy af
- when i came back, i realized that i forgot to buy cat food, so i immediately had to leave again (thankfully the vet is only some blocks away)
- i felt so sore when i finally got to sit down at home, but i got to eat the yummy bread i had baked earlier ☺️🥖
- i walked 9369 steps/7.11km in total, and i’m gonna walk close to the same amount tommorrow too + swim around 1.2mts! 😆
- eepy
Since Lemmy has gained a bit more traction in Finland recently, I started writing a guide in Finnish that will later be published on my blog. The structure is as follows:
- What Lemmy is, short history
- The 2023 Reddit blackout and its consequences, my own experiences
- Communities and how to find them
- Lemmy’s interoperability with Mastodon and other Fedi platforms
- Instances and communities to be recommended
Thank you for your service!
I’m glad I live somewhere that’s never had daylight savings. The concept still perplexes me.
I’ve been having fun with comics again. It’s been way too long since I’ve spent several hours a day reading them. Unfortunately, it appears my fatigue doesn’t like that too much, so there are many breaks necessary, otherwise I burn out.
Still, it’s nice.
Another week of having things look up and then not going anywhere. I think I have a trajectory; this would not be the first time the timing was off. So now I await whether I run out of money or not. Historically, the universe steps in on deadline.
