last time I did that, I caused a friend to have a nervous breakdown and start like… rewriting his childhood memories to match what I accidentally said, since it contradicted his lived experience

I think maybe you’ve figured this out already, but that really is more about the other person than it is about you. I guess we really can’t say without knowing all the details, but I can’t imagine anything you would have said that would justify that response. You need friends that go to therapy. lol