IMO anon’s statement about body count was badly phrased, but it makes sense for me under limited circumstances.
For the last few decades, my opinion has held firm on a simple philosophy:
If I never ask out a woman I’m interested in, and they date guy after guy, then I have nothing to complain about. They never knew about my interest, and so they were never given the chance to accept or reject my interest. There is no way in hell that I could hold their body count against them, and I have only myself to blame for not stepping up and asking them out when I had the chance.
But if I do ask a woman out, and they clearly and immediately reject me in favour of someone else, then I am obviously not an interest for them. They have clearly and unambiguously rejected me, so what standing do I have to not believe that? You can’t get a more sure sign. If they then rack up other relationships, each and every one of those is another nail in the coffin of any potential relationship. They have made an explicit statement that I am of far less desirability than other options, and that door closes permanently, and gets barred and locked for good measure.
Because if she comes sniffing around again, then it is screamingly obvious that I am not her second-best, third-best, or even n^th best option… I am her backup-backup-backup plan that she is “settling for” because all of her better options ran out.
And at that point… thanks but no thanks. That’s a path down which I have absolutely no desire to trod, because down that path lies doubt and second-guessing that can only poison me, my mental health, and my happiness. If she had no interest in me when I asked, then I will absolutely trust her for having told me the complete truth, and I will hold that truth as unchanging, unimpeachable gospel.
Any decision made comes with consequences. The decision to close the metaphorical door to preserve self-respect and mental health comes with consequences. And conversely, passing someone over because you think you can do better also comes with consequences when you discover to have been unable to actually do better.
My problem is the prevailing societal sentiment that only women have the right to say “no”. That only women have the right to close and bolt the relationship door. That men have a duty to accept a woman’s attentions no matter what, and especially if she had rejected him previously. And that he becomes a social pariah, open to mockery and vicious reputational attacks if he says no or keeps that metaphorical door closed himself.
Sorry, that’s not how “equality” works in any way, shape, or form. That’s anti-male gender bigotry, plain and simple. There is just no other way to spin it.
Men reject women all the time, with no societal repercussions.
You have the right to not give someone a second chance, nobody is taking that away from you. I’m just saying the world isn’t always as shallow as your comments portray it to be.
Rejecting someone doesn’t mean you have decided you can do better, or that you aren’t attracted to them. It means at that exact moment in time you weren’t prepared to enter that relationship.
If you get mocked for rejecting a woman, you’re either still in school, or need to get some better friends. Because no sane, rational people would ever think less of you for who you do/don’t date.
If you get mocked for rejecting a woman, you’re either still in school, or need to get some better friends. Because no sane, rational people would ever think less of you for who you do/don’t date.
Tell me you have never been next to an in-group of women when one of them have been turned down, without saying you have absolutely no clue about inter-female dynamics and discussions.
Like, holy flaming ignorance, Batman. Do you walk through life completely blind? Or have you never just observed women, especially when they don’t know (or don’t care) that another man is within earshot?
Yes, not all women, but holy hell certainly a fair majority of them.
Men reject women all the time, with no societal repercussions.
The only possible conclusion I can draw: you have never rejected a woman, nor seen a woman be rejected and - more importantly - witnessed the aftermath once the woman has returned to her in-group.
In my several decades of being an adult I’ve seen plenty of vicious whisper campaigns that targeted not only the man, but also any other woman he was even mildly friendly towards.
And it’s directly proportional to how high a social status the man has. So maybe you’ve not personally experienced it because you have an extremely low social status? Like, double-wide-trailer low? IDK, I’m just trying to understand how you’re missing trivially-observable real-world evidence.
Well yeah, if you turn down a woman, she’s going to tell her friends about it.
And those friends probably won’t be interested in starting a relationship with you any time soon.
Those secret whisper campaigns sound straight out of a teenage movie, and not at all how mature people behave. I’d say you dodged a bullet in that case.
Your anecdotal experience is not representative of everyone else’s though, and neither is mine.
I don’t appreciate you resorting to personal attacks to convey your beliefs, so this will be my last reply.
I have not seen the evidence you’ve seen. Maybe your social circle is particularly fucked up? Maybe mine is luckily less judgmental? … What you described is common for college and early twenties, in my experience, and less so after that.
I’ve seen women in their 30s and 40s engage in it.
It’s not restricted to higher ed or younger ages in the least.
I’m now in my fifth decade, and no longer care to be around that kind of drama anymore, so over the last decade and a bit I have taken pains to distance myself from those social circles that engage in it.
Except that people do a lot of growing in their late 20s and early 30s. Both parties likely changed in personalities, priorities, and experience. The man she rejected years ago is likely not the same man she is attracted to now, nor is she the same person as her priorities have likely changed during that time too.
i will attest to that. my wife and i met when we were… 20? I always thought she was cute, we were always friends, but we didn’t go on a date until we’d been friends for about ten years. the both of us kept moving in and out of our hometown, crossing paths here and there until the second summer we were both there for more than two weeks at the same time. we finally went on a date, hit it off, dated for about six months, realized we weren’t going to get to know each other much better, rushed into marriage, blah blah. if we’d dated when we first met, we’d have broken up after a month. neither of us was mature enough for a stable, adult relationship. pretty sure it has nothing to do with how compatible or who we are, or who we’ve grown into. i was (and still am, just not quite so much i eat a lot) a little dork
I am replying to your reply to this post so that I don’t earn the ire of absolutely everyone. And perhaps I will not even earn yours. Perhaps… you will find some sense in what follows.
There was an unspoken rule for Gen-X — it was in many ways as you have described here. If you got rejected by a girl… that door was closed. And there wasn’t really room for friendship. If you got burned by a girl, you moved on and didn’t even pretend to like them. Done.
You could have friends that were girls if they had boyfriends you liked. If they had boyfriends you didn’t like, you could be friends with a girl you were attracted to, but only so that she might discover you.
Where I believe I run afoul of Millenials and Gen-Z is where I remind folks we just didn’t have a lot of girls who were just friends… we considered this a fantasy or just waiting.
There was an unspoken rule for Gen-X — it was in many ways as you have described here. If you got rejected by a girl… that door was closed. And there wasn’t really room for friendship. If you got burned by a girl, you moved on and didn’t even pretend to like them. Done
I am Gen-X as well. That ‘rule’ might have been true in certain social circles, but it wasn’t a rule among my friends at all. I had lots of female friends. (I didn’t call them females though, I called them women or girls). Some of whom I had turned down in a romantic capacity, some of whom had turned me down, and some of whom were already in relationships or we just weren’t each others type.
It think the difference is all in mindset. I didn’t continue to be friends with the girls who turned me down in the hopes that one day they might change their mind. I stayed friends with them because they were cool people who I liked as people. And I hope at least the same was true for the women I had turned down.
And in the time there were even instances where I did get involved with women I had previously turned down, and with women who had turned me down. None of those relationships worked out in the long run, but we all remained friends afterwards.
I think it’s a problem to have the mindset that being friends with a girl means you are ‘just waiting’ your turn or whatever. Some women are amazing people and worth knowing as friends, it’s not all about sex. In fact it’s probably the fact that I treated my lady friends as human beings that we would end up getting together in a lot of cases. I wasn’t expecting it, or waiting on it, or ‘simping’ or whatever. I was just their friend
No, but I don’t really believe in marriage anyway.
The way I see it if you are only with someone because of a promise, that is less special than being with someone because you currently want to be with them. I’ve had several meaningful relationships over the years and have no regrets. I wouldn’t trade any of that for being stuck in an unsatisfying relationship or giving the government control over my personal life like being legally married requires you to be.
I’m a pretty unconventional person though and most of the women I am attracted to felt the same way, with one exception. That relationship ended way too early because I didn’t believe in marriage. The crazy thing is I probably would have eventually married her because it was important to her, but she gave me an ultimatum and I hate being manipulated like that, so I broke it off. The speed at which she got back with her ex bf who supposedly treated her badly tells me that I made the right choice.
Well… depending on how long ago you separated from that partner who tried to pressure you into marriage, you could discover how her decision to return to someone who mistreated her turned out.
And I am glad you did not marry anyone that you think might have led to an unsatisfying partnership.
Marriage is a wild ride. I was an LA punk rocker in my teens and have felt unconventional my whole life… despite that in many ways, my path doesn’t look much like the road less travelled. For me, showing up to parent teacher conferences was richly unconventional. I’ll be honest… I ended up being much more generous of myself than I would have ever pictured me. Marriage does not come without its sacrifices.
Well… depending on how long ago you separated from that partner who tried to pressure you into marriage, you could discover how her decision to return to someone who mistreated her turned out.
Unfortunately, a few weeks after we split up she told me that she couldn’t handle being just friends with me and so I left her alone. A couple years later I ran into one of her friends, who told me she moved back home to Kentucky and she had another child with him (he was already her baby daddy when I was with her). Hopefully they are having a wonderful life. As far as him mistreating her goes all she really said about him was that he was mean to her and he had a small penis- so hopefully that’s as bad as it got. I have tried to look her up and despite her having an unusual first name- Facebook wasn’t any help and I’d have no idea how to find her other than that. I have no idea what her married last name would be. It was almost 25 years ago when we dated.
I’ll be honest… I ended up being much more generous of myself than I would have ever pictured me. Marriage does not come without its sacrifices.
I can see that, and no shade to people who did get married. I used to find the idea of marriage kind of beautiful, until my ‘first love’ and former fiance kind of stabbed me in the back. I suppose in some ways I’m cynical towards the concept. And to be perfectly honest I have struggled with mental illness most of my life and it’s not getting any better- so that effects my prospects romantically. I always said that I’d rather be alone and unhappy than with someone and miserable- so it may have been a self fulfilling prophecy in some ways.
Anyway it’s really cool that you were able to reach inside and find the fortitude to make those sacrifices and make things work out for you guys. That shows a lot of character. A lot of people never find that which is partially why the divorce rate is so high I think.
Where I believe I run afoul of Millenials and Gen-Z is where I remind folks we just didn’t have a lot of girls who were just friends… we considered this a fantasy or just waiting.
While even GenX had its fair share of these, the one thing I have seen in younger generations is an explosive increase in “Beta Orbiters”.
Unfortunately, this behaviour of giving attention, time, and resources - also known as simping - to a woman who has no intention of reciprocating in any fashion whatsoever, is likely screwing with several generations s of men, and is likely fuelling the rise of so-called “Incels”. Especially since the lack of reciprocity and fair play from what they provide is one of the fundamental “violations of trust” that men perceive. These young men need to learn how to shut metaphorical doors and ignore the women who have no interest in reciprocating and who will only string them along as “useful dancing monkeys”.
While even GenX had its fair share of these, the one thing I have seen in younger generations is an explosive increase in “Beta Orbiters”.
Same here, however for me that’s not a critique or criticism (I’m older Gen X) just an observation of a change in behaviour.
Like the astonishing “rise” in trans people. Once again, not a critisism, just an observation.
These young men need to learn how to shut metaphorical doors and ignore the women who have no interest in reciprocating and who will only string them along as “useful dancing monkeys”.
But it’s not just an m/f thing. I see the same thing with grifter men doing the same thing. I assume it’s some sort of peer thing with the ability of social media allowing easier contact?
That said it’s not a lot different to religion, so perhaps a thing in most humans ?
Except that circumstances change. So you might feel that now, or for most people, but you don’t need to make it a vow, because who knows what the future will bring.
Ah, there is that ad hominem I was expecting to crop up at some point, seeking to publicly shame me into silence.
And it’s a perfect example of intellectual bankruptcy, where someone is so bereft of a counterargument that the only tools left to them are those of shaming and ridicule. It’s feelings before facts, of a rage-consumed person so desperately intent on furthering their anti-male gender bigotry simply because that man exercises equal rights.
Because isn’t that what women have been fighting for over the last century? For the ability to say “thanks, but no thanks” and the ability to permanently close a metaphorical relationship door for whatever reason she deems personally appropriate?
Or is it “rights for me, but not for thee”? Is it that men simply do not have the right to say no, and do not have the right to permanently close that metaphorical door?
C’mon, this is the platform where you can let your anti-male gender bigotry shine! Don’t be shy! Be the flaming hypocrite you were meant to be!!
Sometimes I see the gender wars between you two feels like the moden day equivalent of cointelpro.
Both men and women are hurting on some level, and in recent times both of them lash out at one another. I think the biggest reason is that gender recently has been politicised (not 1:1 mind you), being primarly men on the right, and women primarly on the left.
Sometimes I see the gender wars between you two feels like the moden day equivalent of cointelpro.
And some people just read waaaayyyy too much into things. Then there are people like you, who read the entire room wrong.
Asshole behaviour and systemic gender bigotry deserves being called out. That’s all I did. Nothing more. There is only one person who lashed out here, and it wasn’t me.
Are we reading the same post? I don’t see wounded victim, I see OP saying no (for any reason), then see a hypocrite throwing a tantrum, and the OP being hurt by the hypocrisy and the tantrum?
And you calling him an incel for that? Was he supposed to bend over and suddenly get interested because that’s what she wants?
In your head how OP should behave here to not be an “incel”?
IMO anon’s statement about body count was badly phrased, but it makes sense for me under limited circumstances.
For the last few decades, my opinion has held firm on a simple philosophy:
If I never ask out a woman I’m interested in, and they date guy after guy, then I have nothing to complain about. They never knew about my interest, and so they were never given the chance to accept or reject my interest. There is no way in hell that I could hold their body count against them, and I have only myself to blame for not stepping up and asking them out when I had the chance.
But if I do ask a woman out, and they clearly and immediately reject me in favour of someone else, then I am obviously not an interest for them. They have clearly and unambiguously rejected me, so what standing do I have to not believe that? You can’t get a more sure sign. If they then rack up other relationships, each and every one of those is another nail in the coffin of any potential relationship. They have made an explicit statement that I am of far less desirability than other options, and that door closes permanently, and gets barred and locked for good measure.
Because if she comes sniffing around again, then it is screamingly obvious that I am not her second-best, third-best, or even n^th best option… I am her backup-backup-backup plan that she is “settling for” because all of her better options ran out.
And at that point… thanks but no thanks. That’s a path down which I have absolutely no desire to trod, because down that path lies doubt and second-guessing that can only poison me, my mental health, and my happiness. If she had no interest in me when I asked, then I will absolutely trust her for having told me the complete truth, and I will hold that truth as unchanging, unimpeachable gospel.
It’s understandable why you would feel that way.
People change all the time though.
Perhaps after some of those relationships, they found personality/stability to be more important than looks.
Or maybe they’ve spent years regretting the decision, and the short relationships along the way failed because nobody could compare to you.
Or maybe they genuinely are as shallow as you think, and you’re the last resort in the dating pool.
You can never really know for sure.
…And? So what?
Actually, let me rephrase that: So fucking what??
Any decision made comes with consequences. The decision to close the metaphorical door to preserve self-respect and mental health comes with consequences. And conversely, passing someone over because you think you can do better also comes with consequences when you discover to have been unable to actually do better.
My problem is the prevailing societal sentiment that only women have the right to say “no”. That only women have the right to close and bolt the relationship door. That men have a duty to accept a woman’s attentions no matter what, and especially if she had rejected him previously. And that he becomes a social pariah, open to mockery and vicious reputational attacks if he says no or keeps that metaphorical door closed himself.
Sorry, that’s not how “equality” works in any way, shape, or form. That’s anti-male gender bigotry, plain and simple. There is just no other way to spin it.
Men reject women all the time, with no societal repercussions.
You have the right to not give someone a second chance, nobody is taking that away from you. I’m just saying the world isn’t always as shallow as your comments portray it to be.
Rejecting someone doesn’t mean you have decided you can do better, or that you aren’t attracted to them. It means at that exact moment in time you weren’t prepared to enter that relationship.
If you get mocked for rejecting a woman, you’re either still in school, or need to get some better friends. Because no sane, rational people would ever think less of you for who you do/don’t date.
Tell me you have never been next to an in-group of women when one of them have been turned down, without saying you have absolutely no clue about inter-female dynamics and discussions.
Like, holy flaming ignorance, Batman. Do you walk through life completely blind? Or have you never just observed women, especially when they don’t know (or don’t care) that another man is within earshot?
Yes, not all women, but holy hell certainly a fair majority of them.
The only possible conclusion I can draw: you have never rejected a woman, nor seen a woman be rejected and - more importantly - witnessed the aftermath once the woman has returned to her in-group.
In my several decades of being an adult I’ve seen plenty of vicious whisper campaigns that targeted not only the man, but also any other woman he was even mildly friendly towards.
And it’s directly proportional to how high a social status the man has. So maybe you’ve not personally experienced it because you have an extremely low social status? Like, double-wide-trailer low? IDK, I’m just trying to understand how you’re missing trivially-observable real-world evidence.
Well yeah, if you turn down a woman, she’s going to tell her friends about it.
And those friends probably won’t be interested in starting a relationship with you any time soon.
Those secret whisper campaigns sound straight out of a teenage movie, and not at all how mature people behave. I’d say you dodged a bullet in that case.
Your anecdotal experience is not representative of everyone else’s though, and neither is mine.
I don’t appreciate you resorting to personal attacks to convey your beliefs, so this will be my last reply.
I have not seen the evidence you’ve seen. Maybe your social circle is particularly fucked up? Maybe mine is luckily less judgmental? … What you described is common for college and early twenties, in my experience, and less so after that.
I’ve seen women in their 30s and 40s engage in it.
It’s not restricted to higher ed or younger ages in the least.
I’m now in my fifth decade, and no longer care to be around that kind of drama anymore, so over the last decade and a bit I have taken pains to distance myself from those social circles that engage in it.
Is it really that bad?
Except that people do a lot of growing in their late 20s and early 30s. Both parties likely changed in personalities, priorities, and experience. The man she rejected years ago is likely not the same man she is attracted to now, nor is she the same person as her priorities have likely changed during that time too.
i will attest to that. my wife and i met when we were… 20? I always thought she was cute, we were always friends, but we didn’t go on a date until we’d been friends for about ten years. the both of us kept moving in and out of our hometown, crossing paths here and there until the second summer we were both there for more than two weeks at the same time. we finally went on a date, hit it off, dated for about six months, realized we weren’t going to get to know each other much better, rushed into marriage, blah blah. if we’d dated when we first met, we’d have broken up after a month. neither of us was mature enough for a stable, adult relationship. pretty sure it has nothing to do with how compatible or who we are, or who we’ve grown into. i was (and still am, just not quite so much i eat a lot) a little dork
I am replying to your reply to this post so that I don’t earn the ire of absolutely everyone. And perhaps I will not even earn yours. Perhaps… you will find some sense in what follows.
There was an unspoken rule for Gen-X — it was in many ways as you have described here. If you got rejected by a girl… that door was closed. And there wasn’t really room for friendship. If you got burned by a girl, you moved on and didn’t even pretend to like them. Done.
You could have friends that were girls if they had boyfriends you liked. If they had boyfriends you didn’t like, you could be friends with a girl you were attracted to, but only so that she might discover you.
Where I believe I run afoul of Millenials and Gen-Z is where I remind folks we just didn’t have a lot of girls who were just friends… we considered this a fantasy or just waiting.
I am Gen-X as well. That ‘rule’ might have been true in certain social circles, but it wasn’t a rule among my friends at all. I had lots of female friends. (I didn’t call them females though, I called them women or girls). Some of whom I had turned down in a romantic capacity, some of whom had turned me down, and some of whom were already in relationships or we just weren’t each others type.
It think the difference is all in mindset. I didn’t continue to be friends with the girls who turned me down in the hopes that one day they might change their mind. I stayed friends with them because they were cool people who I liked as people. And I hope at least the same was true for the women I had turned down.
And in the time there were even instances where I did get involved with women I had previously turned down, and with women who had turned me down. None of those relationships worked out in the long run, but we all remained friends afterwards.
I think it’s a problem to have the mindset that being friends with a girl means you are ‘just waiting’ your turn or whatever. Some women are amazing people and worth knowing as friends, it’s not all about sex. In fact it’s probably the fact that I treated my lady friends as human beings that we would end up getting together in a lot of cases. I wasn’t expecting it, or waiting on it, or ‘simping’ or whatever. I was just their friend
Did you find “the one”? Like are you married presently?
No, but I don’t really believe in marriage anyway.
The way I see it if you are only with someone because of a promise, that is less special than being with someone because you currently want to be with them. I’ve had several meaningful relationships over the years and have no regrets. I wouldn’t trade any of that for being stuck in an unsatisfying relationship or giving the government control over my personal life like being legally married requires you to be.
I’m a pretty unconventional person though and most of the women I am attracted to felt the same way, with one exception. That relationship ended way too early because I didn’t believe in marriage. The crazy thing is I probably would have eventually married her because it was important to her, but she gave me an ultimatum and I hate being manipulated like that, so I broke it off. The speed at which she got back with her ex bf who supposedly treated her badly tells me that I made the right choice.
Well… depending on how long ago you separated from that partner who tried to pressure you into marriage, you could discover how her decision to return to someone who mistreated her turned out.
And I am glad you did not marry anyone that you think might have led to an unsatisfying partnership.
Marriage is a wild ride. I was an LA punk rocker in my teens and have felt unconventional my whole life… despite that in many ways, my path doesn’t look much like the road less travelled. For me, showing up to parent teacher conferences was richly unconventional. I’ll be honest… I ended up being much more generous of myself than I would have ever pictured me. Marriage does not come without its sacrifices.
Unfortunately, a few weeks after we split up she told me that she couldn’t handle being just friends with me and so I left her alone. A couple years later I ran into one of her friends, who told me she moved back home to Kentucky and she had another child with him (he was already her baby daddy when I was with her). Hopefully they are having a wonderful life. As far as him mistreating her goes all she really said about him was that he was mean to her and he had a small penis- so hopefully that’s as bad as it got. I have tried to look her up and despite her having an unusual first name- Facebook wasn’t any help and I’d have no idea how to find her other than that. I have no idea what her married last name would be. It was almost 25 years ago when we dated.
I can see that, and no shade to people who did get married. I used to find the idea of marriage kind of beautiful, until my ‘first love’ and former fiance kind of stabbed me in the back. I suppose in some ways I’m cynical towards the concept. And to be perfectly honest I have struggled with mental illness most of my life and it’s not getting any better- so that effects my prospects romantically. I always said that I’d rather be alone and unhappy than with someone and miserable- so it may have been a self fulfilling prophecy in some ways.
Anyway it’s really cool that you were able to reach inside and find the fortitude to make those sacrifices and make things work out for you guys. That shows a lot of character. A lot of people never find that which is partially why the divorce rate is so high I think.
I am of that generation… solidly middle GenX.
While even GenX had its fair share of these, the one thing I have seen in younger generations is an explosive increase in “Beta Orbiters”.
Unfortunately, this behaviour of giving attention, time, and resources - also known as simping - to a woman who has no intention of reciprocating in any fashion whatsoever, is likely screwing with several generations s of men, and is likely fuelling the rise of so-called “Incels”. Especially since the lack of reciprocity and fair play from what they provide is one of the fundamental “violations of trust” that men perceive. These young men need to learn how to shut metaphorical doors and ignore the women who have no interest in reciprocating and who will only string them along as “useful dancing monkeys”.
I couldn’t agree more!
Same here, however for me that’s not a critique or criticism (I’m older Gen X) just an observation of a change in behaviour.
Like the astonishing “rise” in trans people. Once again, not a critisism, just an observation.
But it’s not just an m/f thing. I see the same thing with grifter men doing the same thing. I assume it’s some sort of peer thing with the ability of social media allowing easier contact?
That said it’s not a lot different to religion, so perhaps a thing in most humans ?
Except that circumstances change. So you might feel that now, or for most people, but you don’t need to make it a vow, because who knows what the future will bring.
It’s a kafka trap.
Incel behavior
Ah, there is that ad hominem I was expecting to crop up at some point, seeking to publicly shame me into silence.
And it’s a perfect example of intellectual bankruptcy, where someone is so bereft of a counterargument that the only tools left to them are those of shaming and ridicule. It’s feelings before facts, of a rage-consumed person so desperately intent on furthering their anti-male gender bigotry simply because that man exercises equal rights.
Because isn’t that what women have been fighting for over the last century? For the ability to say “thanks, but no thanks” and the ability to permanently close a metaphorical relationship door for whatever reason she deems personally appropriate?
Or is it “rights for me, but not for thee”? Is it that men simply do not have the right to say no, and do not have the right to permanently close that metaphorical door?
C’mon, this is the platform where you can let your anti-male gender bigotry shine! Don’t be shy! Be the flaming hypocrite you were meant to be!!
Sometimes I see the gender wars between you two feels like the moden day equivalent of cointelpro.
Both men and women are hurting on some level, and in recent times both of them lash out at one another. I think the biggest reason is that gender recently has been politicised (not 1:1 mind you), being primarly men on the right, and women primarly on the left.
And some people just read waaaayyyy too much into things. Then there are people like you, who read the entire room wrong.
Asshole behaviour and systemic gender bigotry deserves being called out. That’s all I did. Nothing more. There is only one person who lashed out here, and it wasn’t me.
Tldr
Care to expand why? I’m genuinely curious.
Completely overlooking the fact that people grow, mature and change as they get older, just to play the wounded victim.
Are we reading the same post? I don’t see wounded victim, I see OP saying no (for any reason), then see a hypocrite throwing a tantrum, and the OP being hurt by the hypocrisy and the tantrum?
And you calling him an incel for that? Was he supposed to bend over and suddenly get interested because that’s what she wants?
In your head how OP should behave here to not be an “incel”?
…go to therapy…
Care to elaborate?