Honestly atp of life, making friends seems hard and sadly I’m not that young.

There is nothing about any particular stage in life that makes it hard to make friends. Some things, like school, can make it easier. But how hard it is to make friends largely depends on you, and how you interact with the world. It depends on your skills and your habits that lead to friend-making.

It sounds like you dont have those skills and habits, and that will make making friends hard. GOOD. Because you know what helps you mature? Doing hard things. Trying things you aren’t sure will work. Being scared and uncomfortable. Getting rejected.

Go out and make friends, and have a hard time making friends, because the difficulty of making friends will help you become more ready for a relationship

This is maybe not what some would consider great advice but “you aren’t ready for a relationship” isn’t really fair. As you said:

But how do I get matured?

For me, a vital part of growing as a person has been experiencing the messiness of life. Failing and learning.

I’ve known the situation you described - planning things with someone you have a real interest in, someone who seemed interested in spending time with you. Placing high importance on the event in your mind only to have the event fall apart because it wasn’t a priority for them. Feeling upset and even jealous. I told her I was upset that she blew me off. It did not go well and she lost interest. That’s not to say this will happen to you, but my experience helped teach me to regulate my interest and my expectations because I didn’t want that to happen again. I also became more mature.

Yes, you should try to find a few friends if you don’t have any. Making new ones is hard but it’s important. I’m not exactly neutotypical and socializing is not something I enjoy most of the time. Still, it’s something that has been valuable to me. It’s kind of like a lower stakes relationship. You like them and care about them - you want to be helpful, do right by them, etc. If you feel clueless about interpersonal relationships you should make friends.

When my previous long-term relationship ended, she was very social and her friend group had become my friend group. I’d only had a few of my own friends and they had moved away or we’d been growing apart. When things ended, I needed to find new friends so I know how hard it can be. I recommend you find something you enjoy, offline if you can, and do that thing with people who also like to do that thing. For me it was board games, video games, TTRPGs, climbing, and hiking. I don’t love all those things but I can get enough enjoyment out of them for it to be worth expending the social energy maybe twice a week, if I had the energy for it. Eventually, after doing this for a few years (while I was in my mid 30s), I found a few people I got along with pretty well. They are now my friends. As a plus, doing things with them is less socially draining and keeps me socially active to a degree.

Regarding romantic relationships, you’ll need be the judge of whether or not you are ready. I think it’s fair to give it a try as long as you can handle failure in a healthy way and don’t have abusive tendencies. Obviously, every single one of my past relationships didn’t work out and I don’t think there was a single one of them where I could not have done better. They fucking hurt like hell but that pain taught me a lot about relationships and about myself. It felt like the end of the world, but it wasn’t. No amount of advice or self reflection would have taught me those important lessons without the experience and the pain of losing the love of someone I cared so much about. As long as you can learn from your failure - forge yourself into a better person - I think you can be ready.

I’ve been in a romantic relationship now for several years. My previous relationship was longer but like all of my other relationships, the failure and lessons learned helped me to recognize and improve on some of my flaws. It also helped me to to better understand and communicate my own needs and priorities. It all helped to create a healthier foundation for my current relationship.

Most people are a lot less mature than they think until they hit about 30. Find a hobby or activity that gets you out of the house and interacting with other people.

In that case, she might sound like a person you could discuss this side of yourself and maybe get some help or perspective from. You will lose the romantic outlook, most likely (or at least should, if you honesty want to understand and improve yourself) but then again that’s probably for the best.

You can’t really form a proper relationship with someone so far away that you have never met. You are probably interested in her because at the moment she is your only available avenue. Not because she is the one for you.

So in my opinion, if you trust her and can discuss anything with her, try to discuss your romantic situation with her, ask her to use her to understand yourself, then do the harder step and move to try to form healthy IRL relationships with people, eventually naturally leading to a romantic relationship. Not out of desperation, but out of real interest.

It seems hard because you need to change meaningful things about yourself and your mentality. But I would say it is more scary than hard. You need to get out of your current comfort zone, but you don’t need to do actually hard things.

It will take time. But if you can make it, it will last. I have been in kinda similar situation in the past, but am now miles ahead from where I was standing and very happy.

trust your gut bro