I booped all the greyhound snooooots 😍

I try to avoid going out at annoying times - e.g., rush hour, school zones, restaurants on a Friday or Saturday night. That helps a lot.

I Love You Period

They don’t make mustaches like that anymore.

I was always more partial to Tom Selleck.

Local government is great but we’re a pretty small township.

National government is fucked and can go fuck itself. Packed full of incompetent morons, sycophants, opportunists, grifters, and brainworms, and riddled with hate - racism, homophobia, misogyny, transphobia, ableism, etc. It’s a smorgasbord of vile shitheads who never should’ve gotten anywhere near this much power.

Terrifyin’!

Late Gen X / early Millennial is called a Xennial. We’re characterized as having been born in a largely analog world and coming of age as consumer technology became more prevalent. I think it informally encompasses 1977-1983.

I was born in '81 and graduated high school in '99. I grew up hearing that I was Gen X, the slacker generation, the whatever generation, the generation where trying was uncool. And that’s exactly the experience I had. I was an adult before I ever heard the term ‘millennial’ and I don’t identify with it at all, though technically I’m on the cusp. Xennial does seem to fit though.

Awww greyhound snoot 😍

And if a woman eats zero burgers during her pregnancy she will give birth to the Hamburglar. Forever trying to get the nutrients he was denied as a fetus.

Gamer boys are TERRIBLE at self-care and hygiene.

I’m so curious about this. Why are they like that? I don’t understand how that happens, and what specifically about gaming makes it more prevalent.

Only 2? I only got one, which was part of lunch. How many is normal?

bang bang, shoot shoot

I feel like there are a lot of teachers that have no business teaching.

The best thing about a colonoscopy is that once it’s over, you’ve got a decade until your next one.

Shallow cut. Everyone knows Dr. Shoe.

I’m sorry, your teachers would really send a note home if your pencil was insufficiently sharp, rather than just telling you to sharpen it? Jesus christ.

My mother wanted all As. I think I broke her when I flunked gym class.

I bow down to your superior Cheetoing methods.

When the cat
comes around

May I introduce you to the concept of pouring a ton of Cheetos onto a plate, then picking them up one-by-one by adhering your tongue to them like a chameleon?