Zuck, I want you to explain to this irrationally angry woman that this coupon from four years ago has expired.

Crest beef jerky! Experience the minty flavors of the…fuckin Southwest. Yeehaw!

Whatcha doin with that landmine?
“Uhhhh…cartoon mischief?”
Well okay then. Welcome to Disneyland.

Ey this’ll get ya arrested in Boston.

“It exploded. The hot pocket exploded.”

He’s delusional. Hot pockets don’t explode.

Awww look, he wants to launch the missile!

Hey man. I could totally use that for…some lemonade I could maybe make maybe.

Oh hell yeah. (T-Rex sounds)

Derek needs to be on the sandwich offender list.

Havin BBQ in the backyard,
Bombin Iraq in my heart,
Ate too many beans,
Now it’s time to fart.

Bless the great smoking trout. Bless the smoke rings from his great maw. Soon we shall join him at the Gas N’ Go in the sky, and take our own ciggies for glory.

I bet woodpeckers have cool internal DOOM music playing when they go nuts on a tree.

This whole town is a donut, just waiting to get…munched.

I once opened for the Melvins and had a killer fire extinguisher solo. I was warned not to return.

Seychelles! Fuck yeah!

Comin again to save the motherfuckin day yeah!

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Rizzo’s discount burial shredding! You dead ‘em, we shred ‘em.

COMRADE CAPTAIN, UNKNOWN AMERICAN CONTACT DIVING 50 METERS A SECOND AND TRACKS ARE CAVITATING.

SONAR CONTACT BEARING 322, DEPLOYING ABRAMS.

I can’t wait to join the Army Diver Armored Division.