One of the best things about maturing – which often comes with but is not guaranteed by age – is learning to be comfortable with yourself. Teenagers tend to spend a lot of their emotional energy clamoring for approval from peers, not yet aware that it’s really their own approval they need.

This unfulfilled need can lead teens to do or say all kinds of silly or even hurtful things. Some teens grow into adults without ever learning how to love themselves. I don’t think that’s the case for most people. Just a small minority but you may encounter them in the workplace from time to time.

It’s also worth noting that psychologists believe around 10% of the population suffers from some type of personality disorder, most of them undiagnosed. I’m reasonably certain that I’ve encountered at least a few of these people in my career.

Well unfortunately the President of the United States is bad at business and the Republicans are …Republicans. The only thing that matters to either are rich people.

“Attention KMart Shoppers!”

I remember a group of whack jobs getting upset with Dolly Parton for promoting COVID vaccines when they first became available.

Anyone who has a problem with Dolly Parton can go fuck themselves with a cactus.

“Partnered” is such a bizarre word to use to mean, “I read a recipe”. Even if that recipe was regurgitated in the most inefficient way possible.

Imagine people in the past saying shit like, “I wanted to bake a pie so I partnered with Betty Crocker.”

Oh really Brenda? You “partnered” with Betty Crocker? And what exactly did Betty do to help? Oh. That’s right. Nothing. Because she’s not an actual person, just a branded cookbook. Maybe make sure more of the rum makes it in the pie next time.

The names’s Bond. James Bond.

If there’s a “best” assassin, it stands to reason that there’s also a “worst” assassin.

I served on the board of a Section 8 housing authority for a number of years.

You would be amazed at the number of people who don’t understand that leases are legally binding contracts and there are actual, enforceable consequences for violating the conditions of it.

“You guys can’t evict me.”

“Uhhh, yeah, we can. It just so happens that hording 30 cats in your house and letting them soak every inch of the place with piss is a violation of the terms of your lease.”

In our case it’s because her mom and I watch Cheers as one of our “default” shows (i.e. there’s nothing else to watch).

K’NEX. I used to build all kinds of cool stuff out of those when I was a kid.

My three year old can sing part of the theme song. I’m so proud.

🎶Sometimes you want to go, where everybody knows your name…🎶

That’s them there liberal talking points from Democrat Jesus.

Popping their ears. I can “pop” my ears by opening my eustachian tubes on demand. I can even hold them open if I want to. Apparently a lot of people can’t do that.

Instead of AOL we had some small time ISP that no one has ever heard of because my dad hated paying for internet access.

MAGA… “Free thinkers.” Lol.

I’m still mad at them for killing off Royal. The Royal Everlast vacuums were tanks.

FYI, TTI owns Hoover, Oreck, Vax, & Dirt Devil.

I don’t do indoor cats because of allergies. I used to have a cat that someone dumped on the road by my house. I installed a cat door in the basement so she could come and go from there as she wanted.

That little shit figured out where the bedroom was and would climb the HVAC duct to get up right up underneath my bed and start meowing loudly at about 6 AM every day as if to say, “Get up you fat bastard. I’m hungry. Time for sleep is over. Time for feeding me is now!”

My Toddler: “Dammit”

His Mom: 🤨

Me: “It was not me. I haven’t smashed any of my fingers lately.”

My Teenager: “That’s gas.”

Me: “Lol. Ok Nana. What year is it? 1965?”

Teenager: “What? Nana doesn’t know what ‘gas’ means.”

Me: “You wanna bet? Ever heard of the Rolling Stones? 🎶Jumping Jack Flash. it’s a gas🎶.”

Teenager: 😧