• 0 Posts
  • 6 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: November 8th, 2023

help-circle

  • I had to change my diet to purely swallowing peanuts with water. Then, I slowly reintroduced my typical diet of McDonald’s double cheese burgers, vodka, and energy drinks. Once I had a population of squirrels that could tolerate my pure excrement, things really took off. They started getting larger and mutating. I had to stop before they started raping all the dogs in the neighborhood. I spent nearly 2 months holed up in my attic with a pallet of MREs, 4 dozen handles of vodka, and 15,000 rounds of M855.