Summary
The UK’s oldest satellite, Skynet-1A, launched in 1969, has mysteriously shifted from its original orbit over Africa to a high-risk position over the Americas.
It’s suspected that in the 1970s, Skynet-1A was intentionally moved west, possibly by U.S. controllers, but records confirming who made this decision and why are missing.
Now inactive, the satellite poses collision risks to active satellites, as it occupies a congested orbit at 105 degrees West longitude.
The UK may eventually need to consider relocating Skynet-1A or removing it altogether to mitigate risks from space debris.
And now it’s blocking MY view. I’m moving it back! How the hell am I suppose to look at naked men from space with that dinosaur in my way? FFS!
Hey, I’m the CEO CTO of a Brand New Startup named Crayonz. I can launch a rocket filled with crayons and six highly trained
monkeyAI models to mask the satellite.I just need 1.6 billion BTC for Funding A, but we can make this work! Think of the AI benefits and Space Synergy.
BTC? or BTU’s? It takes a lot of energy to launch. Actually, wouldn’t all the crayonz melt on the way out? This could end up being a very expensive monkey candle, in space.
But imagine the friends we’ll make along the way
Naked men from space? So like hot aliens or…?
Oh I do hope there are tentacles involved!
In my case, there are always tentacles involved.
It’s you non-cephalopods that have the weird sex.
NSFO porn
And yeah, I do have a big hectocotylus. Thanks for asking.
No, sorry. Naked Earth men viewed from space satellites.
Boring.
Sorry. I find it very interesting. And your damn satellite is STILL IN MY WAY!!! You have until Tuesday or I blow it up!! That’s when Jorio uses his outside shower, and he has been working out. Damnnnnn!
Shit! I forgot my iPod in the engine bay. Could I have until next week? My spaceship is at the North Pole chasing ruzzians. It’s a mission, what can I say. I’ll be up there Saturday and I’ll get my iPod and get out of your way. I can give the old rust can a kick for good measure. Or heck, I could fill it with random pyrotechnics so we can all enjoy. Like having a view of war but in space… from the ground.