To anyone who is in the position of anon, the task is simple, just spend time with them. Treat them like people, which is what they are, instead of something to be won or to be won over.
Mutual respect, common principles, and a spark is all that’s really needed. Understand that while you may be interested, they might not be. Would you really want to be with someone who doesn’t genuinely want to be with you? Probably not, so just keep going. You’ll get that spark eventually and things will kick off. Until then, be a good person and treat everyone with respect.
The whole confidence game is a bit misleading too. Confidence comes from being proud of yourself, more than anything. If you’re not proud of yourself, perhaps that’s an area to improve. Do things that you’ll be proud of, and become someone who is confident in the process. Understand that not everyone will be impressed by your achievements, and that’s ok. It’s not a competition.
Any person who will shame others for their interests probably aren’t worth knowing.
If you have serious struggles with confidence and relationships, there’s no shame in seeking help with the council of a friend or from a professional.
To anyone who is in the position of anon, the task is simple, just spend time with them. Treat them like people, which is what they are, instead of something to be won or to be won over.
For OP, who is lacking massively in experience with both intergender emotional connections as well as intergender physical intimacy, your methods are unlikely to work anymore. Most age-appropriate women for him are going to be looking for an experienced man, and will be revolted by his lack of experience.
And yes, even my wife (46) confirmed this in a recent conversation last year, and she’s pretty darn progressive. Beyond a certain age - usually around 22, but it differs with each woman - most women start getting turned off by any inexperience a man might have with emotional and physical intimacy. By this age, women begin to want and prefer an experienced man who has proven his worth with prior relationships.
Why? Because an older man without experience practically screams “I am an exceptionally poor choice for you” precisely because no other woman has decided to take a chance on him – this is an actual preselection sexual strategy found in almost all women.
Sure, he might still find someone. But at his age, the likelihood that he’ll be chosen for any reason other than being an ATM and/or a surrogate father to children who aren’t his, is statistically about as close to 0% as he can get. He has about as much chance of finding a truly good and loving woman (who is still single, childless, and not below the half-plus-seven rule) as he does winning the Powerball several times in a row.
You start off strong and then go fully off the incel cliff at the end there
Ah, yes. Because resorting to an ad hominem is just such a good option when a reasoned counter argument is impossible to provide.
Interesting how you reach for a tool used almost exclusively to shame men into compliance with the narrative. Especially since it is impossible for me to be an incel in the first place - I am married, FFS. I just refuse to be blind to reality and facts.
To anyone who is in the position of anon, the task is simple, just spend time with them. Treat them like people, which is what they are, instead of something to be won or to be won over.
Mutual respect, common principles, and a spark is all that’s really needed. Understand that while you may be interested, they might not be. Would you really want to be with someone who doesn’t genuinely want to be with you? Probably not, so just keep going. You’ll get that spark eventually and things will kick off. Until then, be a good person and treat everyone with respect.
The whole confidence game is a bit misleading too. Confidence comes from being proud of yourself, more than anything. If you’re not proud of yourself, perhaps that’s an area to improve. Do things that you’ll be proud of, and become someone who is confident in the process. Understand that not everyone will be impressed by your achievements, and that’s ok. It’s not a competition.
Any person who will shame others for their interests probably aren’t worth knowing.
If you have serious struggles with confidence and relationships, there’s no shame in seeking help with the council of a friend or from a professional.
Be well.
For OP, who is lacking massively in experience with both intergender emotional connections as well as intergender physical intimacy, your methods are unlikely to work anymore. Most age-appropriate women for him are going to be looking for an experienced man, and will be revolted by his lack of experience.
And yes, even my wife (46) confirmed this in a recent conversation last year, and she’s pretty darn progressive. Beyond a certain age - usually around 22, but it differs with each woman - most women start getting turned off by any inexperience a man might have with emotional and physical intimacy. By this age, women begin to want and prefer an experienced man who has proven his worth with prior relationships.
Why? Because an older man without experience practically screams “I am an exceptionally poor choice for you” precisely because no other woman has decided to take a chance on him – this is an actual preselection sexual strategy found in almost all women.
Sure, he might still find someone. But at his age, the likelihood that he’ll be chosen for any reason other than being an ATM and/or a surrogate father to children who aren’t his, is statistically about as close to 0% as he can get. He has about as much chance of finding a truly good and loving woman (who is still single, childless, and not below the half-plus-seven rule) as he does winning the Powerball several times in a row.
You start off strong and then go fully off the incel cliff at the end there
Ah, yes. Because resorting to an ad hominem is just such a good option when a reasoned counter argument is impossible to provide.
Interesting how you reach for a tool used almost exclusively to shame men into compliance with the narrative. Especially since it is impossible for me to be an incel in the first place - I am married, FFS. I just refuse to be blind to reality and facts.