• Cataphract@lemmy.ml
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    2 days ago

    Make friends first without requirements, communicate if an action of theirs disturbs you or makes you feel some kind of way. Learn who they are and why they do things before passing judgement. Let them know your experience. From there, evaluate what kind of relationship you want with the person going forward. But, communicate! the reason why. Allow the ability for people to surprise you and change if they care about your feelings (including allowing yourself to change if they present good arguments).

    People have friends or acquaintances for different reasons and have different philosophies over what’s important in those relationships, mileage may vary.

    • stinky@redlemmy.com
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      2 days ago

      cool lol thanks

      just fyi you keep repeating this pattern: “here’s a specific thing you should enjoy. Later, here’s a general rule which will often invalidate the previous statement” and it’s just kind of hard to follow. but. thanks for the response

      • Cataphract@lemmy.ml
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        14 hours ago

        It helps if you’re not vague when asking for clarification and quote what the issue is directly, the made-up quote doesn’t really help if you wish to get an actual helpful response.

        people should be friends with people who litter, and politely encourage them to improve their behavior?

        My response: Make friends first without requirements

        Or that they should walk away from people that litter?

        response: Learn who they are and why they do things before passing judgement. From there, evaluate what kind of relationship you want with the person going forward (is this a co-worker? Someone from a friend group? What kind of relationship is required to move forward)

        You can make friends…then unmake if necessary. If that’s your confusion.

        • stinky@redlemmy.com
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          2 hours ago

          or we can make friends however we want, lol, it’s weird that you think you’re our life coach. let people pick friends however they want buddy, there’s no need to tell everyone else how to live