So is the kink here just being tied up, or being tied up in that specific way? 🤔
Because I almost always see stuff with a very specific set of tied up positions. Like, it’s never just bound hands and feet. It’s always way more elaborate. I find being bound up, unable to move or act against someone doing what they please to be a turn on; but I wouldn’t care how I was bound. I’m now wondering if hibari or whatever it’s called has anything to even do with the being bound part, or if it’s more about the ropes and knots in and of themselves. Like latex vs inflation. One is about the material, the other just uses the material for another reason.
Hi, I can answer a little. I’m not expert, but I have done some shibari/rope bondage. The appeal versus something simple like handcuffs (or whatever other restraint) is partly that getting bound is more intimate. With something like cuffs over a bed rail, sure, you can still make it intimate, but it’s just click and that’s that. With ropes it is a process. You go back and forth, back and forth, slowly getting more and more restricted, feeling more and more vulnerable. It’s much much more intimate. (It’s also very aesthetically pleasing.)
In short, the foreplay is baked into the restraining.
If you’re interested in trying it yourself (and yes, there are some things you can easily do on yourself, mostly leg related) my suggestions are,
GET SCISSORS. PROPER BONDAGE SCISSORS ARE BEST but anything you know will cut the rope is okay. This is critical if you’re doing stuff in yourself.
Go to Lowe’s or Home Depot or whatever and buy 100 feet of, I think it’s like ⅜ inch Paracord. Get something that doesn’t feel itchy.
Cut it into, roughly, I think it’s 2x 15 feet and 2x 30 feet (roughly) ropes. Longer is better because sometimes you run out, but it’s worse because it’s annoying to work with when you don’t need the slack.
Lingo! The term you want to look up is beginner shibari “double column ties”. The “column” will be things like an arm or a leg or whatever. Starting with your legs is best. Another one you can try later in yourself is a frog tie but it’s harder.
Something simple like 2x of the double column ties on your legs will feel nice. One at your ankles and one around your knees. You can add a third if you want.
That’s the extent of my knowledge and I haven’t done too much more, but that’s how you can get started with it on yourself if you’re curious.
Bonus lingo: floor ties. These refer to things where nobody is suspended from something. So those are the things to look into if you want to go further.
The big one is just a massive selection bias in what people take pictures of. I know how to do a functional tie to restrain someone’s hands and feet. I do it plenty. But if there’s going to be pictures, I’m going to go for something more visually impressive.
There is also a constraint aspect in addition to the restraint. A common type of tie is a rope harness that goes around your torso without actually restraining any of your limbs. In addition to the aesthetic, it also squeezes you, which is kind of like wearing a hug.
As far as restraints go, it is surprisingly difficult to fully restrain arms/hands. A simple binding of the wrists leaves a lot of room to maneuver; and unless you are actively trying to pull your hands apart, barely feels like you are restrained at all. Finding a tie that really restraining and holds up [0] against all the wiggling your subject will do is difficult and tends to follow one of a few forms.
Other people don’t particularly care for the being tied part as much as the getting tied part. It can be a rather intimate experience with how close the top needs to be to your body, and the constant tension they maintain through the rope across your body.
And, of course, there are the type of people who are interested in the aesthetics. They tend to be the ones most interested in pictures.
[0] I almost include safe in this list. But given that the tie shown in this picture is probably the most popular, I cannot in good conscience say that.
This type of bondage is called shibari, and it’s different in the way you described. Regular bondage is about restricted movement, maybe cuffs or topless around wrists and ankles.
Shibari is a Japanese form of rope bondage, it is a very slow and methodical approach, where the person being bound must (generally) submit quietly the whole time it’s being done.
The aesthetics of the binding are important, it should look good, and also should work with the mechanics of the body.
It can be used as a pleasant and beautiful decoration on top of clothing, as here, or can use the mechanics of the body to bind in such a way that the body’s own movements cause stress.
So is the kink here just being tied up, or being tied up in that specific way? 🤔
Because I almost always see stuff with a very specific set of tied up positions. Like, it’s never just bound hands and feet. It’s always way more elaborate. I find being bound up, unable to move or act against someone doing what they please to be a turn on; but I wouldn’t care how I was bound. I’m now wondering if hibari or whatever it’s called has anything to even do with the being bound part, or if it’s more about the ropes and knots in and of themselves. Like latex vs inflation. One is about the material, the other just uses the material for another reason.
Hi, I can answer a little. I’m not expert, but I have done some shibari/rope bondage. The appeal versus something simple like handcuffs (or whatever other restraint) is partly that getting bound is more intimate. With something like cuffs over a bed rail, sure, you can still make it intimate, but it’s just click and that’s that. With ropes it is a process. You go back and forth, back and forth, slowly getting more and more restricted, feeling more and more vulnerable. It’s much much more intimate. (It’s also very aesthetically pleasing.)
In short, the foreplay is baked into the restraining.
If you’re interested in trying it yourself (and yes, there are some things you can easily do on yourself, mostly leg related) my suggestions are,
That’s the extent of my knowledge and I haven’t done too much more, but that’s how you can get started with it on yourself if you’re curious.
Bonus lingo: floor ties. These refer to things where nobody is suspended from something. So those are the things to look into if you want to go further.
There’s a couple of things going on.
The big one is just a massive selection bias in what people take pictures of. I know how to do a functional tie to restrain someone’s hands and feet. I do it plenty. But if there’s going to be pictures, I’m going to go for something more visually impressive.
There is also a constraint aspect in addition to the restraint. A common type of tie is a rope harness that goes around your torso without actually restraining any of your limbs. In addition to the aesthetic, it also squeezes you, which is kind of like wearing a hug.
As far as restraints go, it is surprisingly difficult to fully restrain arms/hands. A simple binding of the wrists leaves a lot of room to maneuver; and unless you are actively trying to pull your hands apart, barely feels like you are restrained at all. Finding a tie that really restraining and holds up [0] against all the wiggling your subject will do is difficult and tends to follow one of a few forms.
Other people don’t particularly care for the being tied part as much as the getting tied part. It can be a rather intimate experience with how close the top needs to be to your body, and the constant tension they maintain through the rope across your body.
And, of course, there are the type of people who are interested in the aesthetics. They tend to be the ones most interested in pictures.
[0] I almost include safe in this list. But given that the tie shown in this picture is probably the most popular, I cannot in good conscience say that.
This type of bondage is called shibari, and it’s different in the way you described. Regular bondage is about restricted movement, maybe cuffs or topless around wrists and ankles.
Shibari is a Japanese form of rope bondage, it is a very slow and methodical approach, where the person being bound must (generally) submit quietly the whole time it’s being done.
The aesthetics of the binding are important, it should look good, and also should work with the mechanics of the body.
It can be used as a pleasant and beautiful decoration on top of clothing, as here, or can use the mechanics of the body to bind in such a way that the body’s own movements cause stress.