On top of the answers you got there is a problem of semantics. “Feminine” can mean very different things in different contexts once you step even slightly out of the cishet gender binary.
Standard English lacks a concise way to convey the idea of fashion choices reclaimed from “feminine” fashion as its own (usually but not necessarily) male gay thing. We call that “femme” or “effeminate”, but the difference between a cross-dresser and a hairy gay man wearing a crop top and booty shorts is obvious. We call that “femme clothing” because we lack a better word for it, but that archetypal gay man isn’t any less masc for it and probably isn’t any closer to attracting archetypal lesbians or straight men.
Another way semantics betray us is when we call emotionally available/sensitive men “effeminate”. Usually in a misogynistic way, but regardless men who are emotionally sensitive aren’t “feminine”.
At the end of the day “being a man” is a vibe, the sum of countless things that aren’t offset simply because a small part of your gender presentation is borrowed from traditionally female things. And vice-versa, neo-nazis on their gym grind aren’t better men because they put on 100 kg of useless muscle and refuse to shake a woman’s hand.
Right. And I’ve always viewed the notion of trans as weirdly social conservatism - because it seems to buy into sexism. I would think a fight against gender stereotypes would be better than a fight to be able to use flexible labels to fit in gender stereotypes. But I guess it amounts to the same thing.
Being trans isn’t about gender stereotypes. There are plenty of GNC trans people.
Gender is a social construct and it doesn’t have to be sexist when consented to. No woman owes feminism to shave their head and wear cargo shorts. If gender truly is a choice then how could it be sexist?
Some people feel strongly man or woman, some feel strongly neither or both, some don’t feel strongly any way. That’s just a fact of life and no amount of social theorizing will invalidate those people’s feelings.
To play devils advocate: Do you think we should invalidate people’s feelings of hate toward trans folk?
Regardless, your first two points seems to conflict. The social construct of gender is based on stereotypes. How can there be any notion of a particular gender unless there are characteristics attributed to it? And any generalization based on such assumptions is sexist by definition.
I agree that some people just feel they are what they are and that’s totally cool. Power to ya! But it is interesting to see the echos of conservatism hiding in these ‘progressive’ ideals, whether people want to admit it or not.
On top of the answers you got there is a problem of semantics. “Feminine” can mean very different things in different contexts once you step even slightly out of the cishet gender binary.
Standard English lacks a concise way to convey the idea of fashion choices reclaimed from “feminine” fashion as its own (usually but not necessarily) male gay thing. We call that “femme” or “effeminate”, but the difference between a cross-dresser and a hairy gay man wearing a crop top and booty shorts is obvious. We call that “femme clothing” because we lack a better word for it, but that archetypal gay man isn’t any less masc for it and probably isn’t any closer to attracting archetypal lesbians or straight men.
Another way semantics betray us is when we call emotionally available/sensitive men “effeminate”. Usually in a misogynistic way, but regardless men who are emotionally sensitive aren’t “feminine”.
At the end of the day “being a man” is a vibe, the sum of countless things that aren’t offset simply because a small part of your gender presentation is borrowed from traditionally female things. And vice-versa, neo-nazis on their gym grind aren’t better men because they put on 100 kg of useless muscle and refuse to shake a woman’s hand.
Right. And I’ve always viewed the notion of trans as weirdly social conservatism - because it seems to buy into sexism. I would think a fight against gender stereotypes would be better than a fight to be able to use flexible labels to fit in gender stereotypes. But I guess it amounts to the same thing.
To play devils advocate: Do you think we should invalidate people’s feelings of hate toward trans folk?
Regardless, your first two points seems to conflict. The social construct of gender is based on stereotypes. How can there be any notion of a particular gender unless there are characteristics attributed to it? And any generalization based on such assumptions is sexist by definition.
I agree that some people just feel they are what they are and that’s totally cool. Power to ya! But it is interesting to see the echos of conservatism hiding in these ‘progressive’ ideals, whether people want to admit it or not.