I am working very hard on this and I’ve found what works best is to say thank you/thanks/appreciate it, etc. And then if I try to say anything or add to that, I will aggressively tell myself to shut the fuck up. Just shut the fuck up. They don’t care where you got it. They don’t need to know anything else. If they want to know, they will ask. Just shut the fuck up.
It gets a bit mean in my head sometimes but it’s working I think.
This is, to my mind, excellent advice. If a casual acquaintance compliments you, acknowledge it (even if you disagree) and move on (unless there’s reason to delve further into it, which there sometimes but rarely is). If you’re very close to the the complimenter, things might be different, but that requires a high level of confidence both in yourself and your friendship.
The thing I would add to this philosophy is, if receiving praise and in the right environment, it can be a good thing to distribute the praise. For example, if you worked on a task and your co-worker helped you, then someone says you did a good job - loudly and positively acknowledge the contributions of the other party, even if they didn’t do that much.
In my experience, this will get you a reputation for sharing credit, so others will want to help you; the individual you’re crediting will be grateful for the acknowledgement (results may vary); and saying someone else is good will often help to mitigate the embarrassment of acknowledging that you might be. The only downside to this approach is that if you spend enough time down playing yourself, others might start to believe you … So be careful, it’s a balancing act.
I am working very hard on this and I’ve found what works best is to say thank you/thanks/appreciate it, etc. And then if I try to say anything or add to that, I will aggressively tell myself to shut the fuck up. Just shut the fuck up. They don’t care where you got it. They don’t need to know anything else. If they want to know, they will ask. Just shut the fuck up.
It gets a bit mean in my head sometimes but it’s working I think.
This is, to my mind, excellent advice. If a casual acquaintance compliments you, acknowledge it (even if you disagree) and move on (unless there’s reason to delve further into it, which there sometimes but rarely is). If you’re very close to the the complimenter, things might be different, but that requires a high level of confidence both in yourself and your friendship.
The thing I would add to this philosophy is, if receiving praise and in the right environment, it can be a good thing to distribute the praise. For example, if you worked on a task and your co-worker helped you, then someone says you did a good job - loudly and positively acknowledge the contributions of the other party, even if they didn’t do that much.
In my experience, this will get you a reputation for sharing credit, so others will want to help you; the individual you’re crediting will be grateful for the acknowledgement (results may vary); and saying someone else is good will often help to mitigate the embarrassment of acknowledging that you might be. The only downside to this approach is that if you spend enough time down playing yourself, others might start to believe you … So be careful, it’s a balancing act.