Yeah you’d think the community would be a little more accepting of people who don’t fit a strict definition, or don’t present a certain way.
But it’s just as judgemental and gatekeepy as every other community. You have to present a certain way or say you’re a certain thing to fit in. It’s very depressing and has made me even more cynical.
Honestly, I find most of the judgemental and gatekeepy tends to come from a handful of people who never grew up. Trauma tends to create a sort of arrested development, and people can mentally get ‘stuck’ at the maturity they were when it happened. Gatekeeping is a form of cope, where they function under the belief that if their criteria is narrow enough, they’ll be safe.
It’s the idea that if you can make a group where everybody is exactly like you, you’ll all get along. It’s flawed logic, because there are always parts of you that you don’t like, and it’s even more aggravating when you see your flaws in others, but it makes sense to me.
Yeah you’d think the community would be a little more accepting of people who don’t fit a strict definition, or don’t present a certain way.
But it’s just as judgemental and gatekeepy as every other community. You have to present a certain way or say you’re a certain thing to fit in. It’s very depressing and has made me even more cynical.
Honestly, I find most of the judgemental and gatekeepy tends to come from a handful of people who never grew up. Trauma tends to create a sort of arrested development, and people can mentally get ‘stuck’ at the maturity they were when it happened. Gatekeeping is a form of cope, where they function under the belief that if their criteria is narrow enough, they’ll be safe.
It’s the idea that if you can make a group where everybody is exactly like you, you’ll all get along. It’s flawed logic, because there are always parts of you that you don’t like, and it’s even more aggravating when you see your flaws in others, but it makes sense to me.