I got divorced like 5 months ago after a 9 years with this girl who cheated on me, emotionally abused me, etc etc
I’ve been suicidal since the split, getting worse by the day still, and literally nobody ever asked if I was OK, aside from my mom. Even when I begged close friends for support they basically just ghosted me. My ex is surrounded by support, from the same people who I thought were my best friends.
Do I just have shitty people around me or is this just what guys deal with? The attitude towards me is just “get over it”. I’ve lost almost everyone I’m close to because of this and I’m starting to think there might actually be one viable option of getting over it because existing is simply torture. All of 2025 felt like just a bad dream but it’s unfortunately real.
Edit: Yes I have a counselor - a very good one I see weekly.
The honest truth is that people simply don’t see value in males the way they see value in females.
The honest truth is that toxic masculinity is perpetuating an environment of hostility towards showing the need for emotional support and giving fellow men who need it.
Women receive emotional support from other women because they have been socialized to give and receive it without shame.
If you are a man, ask yourself when was the last time you were able to express emotional vulnerability with other men without feeling judged.
This isn’t an issue of ‘value in females’. It’s an issue of valuing men’s emotion vulnerability as a critical part of healthy masculinity.
Did you read the OP?
Yes. I’m going to cut to the point here.
You are likely conflating the phrase ‘toxic masculinity’ with ‘men’. Toxic masculinity is a systemic problem, not a gender. It’s the cultural norms we grow up with that instill poor notions of what it means to be a man. It’s the widespread shaming and dismissal of men’s mental health. It’s the normalization of anger as the only acceptable emotion for men, making it the only outlet for their grief and pain. It’s the preclusion of men from caretaking roles and the expectation of men being breadwinners, and so much more.
Men are raised by people, and people, men and women alike, in their ignorance, instill outdated ideas of masculinity in their kids uphold the expectations of their peers and elders.
Oh dear God. Did I miss my invite to the incel pity party. I mean it’s not like we men literally control the world or anything.
That’s why men have no support I’m pretty sure. Men don’t care for other men
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Who the fuck talks about people having our not having “value?” The fact that people don’t like you has nothing to do with you being a man, buddy. It has to do with you being a shitty, miserable person
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And you’ll be called an incel when you point out the double standard
It all depends on how you state it. I’ve never been called an incel when talking to grown-ass adults about these issues, but I also don’t have to turn to misogyny in doing so. (Not saying this is how you do it, it’s just a generality, and I’ve seen it a sickening amount of times online) That toxic masculinity really shines through when I see men posting online talking about double standards because the focus is on blame. Make it a positive discussion about how you’d like things to be rather than hate towards those holding you back.
Yea I don’t disagree thats the case with most people, but some will try to twist it no matter what you said, to conform to their current world view.