You will meet many men in your life, and some of them are going to be wonderful. In fact, there will be men who are wonderful in ways you don’t even realize until much later.

But there are also entirely too many creeps, and unfortunately, you have to have some ugly experiences to really get a sense of who is and who isn’t a good guy. Especially watch out for older men, especially ones who flatter you and tell you how beautiful and mature you are. These guys are everywhere, and girls your age are their prime fixation. If you are careful and lucky, you can learn to spot them without becoming their victim, and without getting pregnant or married.

You’ve seen those nature shows where the baby sea turtles hatch on shore and have to make it to the water before the hungry birds devour them? You’re a little turtle now. Just focus on the water (your goals for your future,) and don’t let the bastards gobble you up.

Some of the music I liked in my teens still sounds great. But definitely not all of it. Most of the music I love now would have been completely unavailable to me in the 70s and 80s. It took streaming music and algorithms to introduce me to the music of West Africa. So many amazing musicians in that part of the world, and I never even knew it existed.

I don’t know if I have ever seen anyone talk this way about an old man’s clothing choices. Usually it’s only women who are held up to this cradle to grave scrutiny of our every move. When you say that she looks “ridiculous,” you’re channeling the full weight of a sexist and ageist culture.

If you saw an old man dressing flamboyantly, you’d smile quietly and go on with your day. You wouldn’t bother trying to analyze your reaction because you would barely have one. And there’s your answer.