It’s been a very long week. I’m glad it’s almost over, and I’ll have two rest days until next week starts. My depression got slightly worse due to someone unexpected coming back into my life, someone I thought I’d never talk to or hear from again. I was getting accustomed to no longer having this person around, and I realised I was doing much better without them. My anxiety was under control; I was making more gains in the gym than ever, girls(and guys!) started paying more attention to me whenever I went out, and I was finally trying out new hobbies!

Then, out of nowhere, four weeks ago or so, I got a message on my WhatsApp. Despite being in a much better place now, I engaged with them. I knew it was a bad idea from the get-go, but part of me was still clinging to the past, I suppose. Finally, I did what I should’ve done aeons ago: I closed our communication channels yesterday when they inevitably brought more drama into my life that I didn’t need. We’ve known each other for 22 years, and part of me will sorely miss them, but I think I’m much better off without them.

I’ve been training a lot and got into natural bodybuilding over the past few months. I finally found a coach that seems pretty good, and I’m hoping we can start training after the summer once I’m back from my parents’ place. Sadly, all of this has messed up my recovery as it has substantially increased my stress levels. Hopefully, it’ll all be back on track soon. Being an HSP makes this situation harder, but I think I’m better equipped now than ever. It’s only up from here! (I hope!)

Sorry for the wall of text. It’s been a very long week, and I suppose I needed to vent somewhere.

So what’s Noita’s appeal? I’ve tried getting into it several times, but it never clicked. It feels overly difficult, but not in a fun way. I’m sure I’m missing something, as this kind of game would be up my alley otherwise.

It’s been mostly good. Sadly, my parents could not come because the consulate could not issue their visas on time, but we made the best out of what we had. I’ve now been resting at my sister’s place, and it’s been such a pleasant surprise. We had not lived together since she was 8(she’s 20 now), so it has been quite the experience for both of us. I’m flying back home tomorrow, and I’m already planning a return trip. I needed this break. I feel I could finally stop and take a breath of confidence and self-control. I haven’t had any depressing thoughts, and, more importantly, I feel like I was finally able to let go of some of the ghosts that have been haunting me this year. It was excruciating, but I’m happy I did it. I feel confident they won’t be coming back anymore to torture and taunt me. So, I feel I can finally start a new era in my life and move forward, one step at a time. Let’s hope I can keep the positivity. At least, for now, I think I got this and 2024 can bring it. :)

Thank you! That really means a lot and I appreciate your encouragement!

Things have been somewhat more stable. My anxiety and depression seem to be somewhat under control although there are still the really bad days here and there. I’m slowly getting over severing ties with my best friend of 18 years and am slowly coming to the realisation that maybe it was all for the best. Otherwise, all is the same, gym, work, therapy, some light gaming and reading. Things will be okay.