Invite them back over and masturbate aggressively while they enjoy cocktails and reminisce.

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Put things into other things. Take things out of other things. Push stuff. Sleep. Look at stuff.

Chicken Biryani. I keep getting the ingredients and making simpler things.

I had perfect vision for decades and then it suddenly went to shit. Found out there’s no preventing it, no lifestyle changes to make it better. It’s just gone. Presbyopia can’t be prevented or fixed. Feels bad, man.

What??? Why???

This happened in North Carolina last election. She campaigned on liberal ideas and then immediately switched. It has enabled the state GOP to take tons of power in the last few years. Forgot to add her name. Tricia Cotham.

Why is anyone considering staying on X?

Deep down, I knew something was off about that face-eating leopard I adopted.

They could have done their jobs for the last four years and they wouldn’t have to worry about losing it to that fivehead.

I always make the banana bread.

Let me show you my surprised face. 😐

“The house I built out of shit smells like shit and it’s disgusting what they did to me.”

My Shakespeare teacher in college called it a concordance when we studied Macbeth. There was a full concordance and then concordances for each speaking part. Pretty fascinating stuff.

You mean like…uh…defying historical precedent.

“defy history”

Well, buttflapper…

Capitalism filters sociopaths to the top. It’s a feature, not a bug. It has always been this way. Read about Henry Ford and JD Rockefeller, John Kellog. The list goes on.

Did CNN let Tapper have his spine back?

The levels of irony here are off the fucking charts.

Imagine being a twitter user.