I hereby name mine Mr. Law Yawnson, it’s a total bore

All the cafés were a long way away from where I lived so yeah we went there like going to the movies or bowling and it followed a similar event like dynamic. It was an optional thing to do but not some default or daily thing.

Comparatively, side by side it looks square to me

It is kinda hard to explain and grasp just how much I have and can adapt. Probably the best two examples are weight and religion. Only somewhere around 5% of people that are morbidly obese, and manage to lose that weight at some point, then manage to keep it off for over a decade.

Very few people ever manage to grow their self awareness to the point of taking action to move away from their religion they were born into. Many people have various levels of engagement, but to actually logically break down and reason upon dogma and tribalism to the point of taking action for moral and ethical reasons is rare. I was never run a foul, offended, or wronged in some emotional way. Quite contrary I was exceptionally engaged, did a good bit if leading, and was well regarded. I know the information better than anyone else I have ever spoken to. When I asked questions, no one had substantive answers.

When I get into a subject, or hobby I do so on a level that is very intense and unlike anyone I have met before. I may find a friend that meshes with that one interest, but I have never met people that cross different spaces. Like right now I am doing CAD every day. I make stuff that is very different than anything uploaded on thingiverse or printables, the two main 3d files sharing websites. I design stuff that is unlike anything I’ve ever seen elsewhere too. I mull over ideas for weeks. It is always on the back of my mind. I taught myself CAD and at an advanced level beyond what most hobbyists learn.

The overall project I’m working on is for a GPU water cooler for my laptop. That in turn is for my custom agent framework in Emacs on Linux where I want to push my hardware to its limits. I got into AI after hitting a wall learning some of the material from the second year courses in computer science on my own. The agentic AI framework is basically a system to augment the LLM outputs with the materials I have in books I bought to follow along with the CS curriculum.

Another major area I dive into from time to time is electronic circuit design. I know KiCAD well and have done some rather in depth reverse engineering projects with hardware too. I can design in analog or digital and have two tooling setups for toner transfer and photolithography etching to make my own circuit boards. Coding complexity is probably my biggest weakness in hardware.

When I lost the weight, I did so as the most hardcore cyclist I have ever met. I rode in all weather. My first bike shop job was 66 miles every day round trip and I rode that for nearly 2 years. I also lead a shop ride out on most Saturday mornings, rode there and home too making that a 100+ mile day. I never had a week under 400 miles back then. I spent a lot of time on a bike. That is a chapter of my life. These are the things that define me. Holding me back from that kind of change is what I’m really talking about.

I had a really bad heart issue in the middle of a Target store one evening around 2009 and decided I wanted to change because I was on the wrong path. Before that, I was the most hardcore car nut you would have ever met. I painted cars professionally, built motors, worked in a machine shop a couple of times, ported heads for nostalgia dragsters, and was into metal fab with mig stick and tig. I was very close to doing my own metal castings, and I got into making my own custom composite parts. I specialized in plastics and repairs on stuff that couldn’t be replaced with reproduction parts too. I was so into carburetors that I was studying WW2 aircraft engines.

I can geek out about nearly anything. I have so many potential things I would love to explore but haven’t yet, like sewing and upholstery, sculpting, ceramics, radio, further into astronomy, radio controlled stuff, robotics and automation, homelab, FPGAs, jewelry making, mosaics, metrology, reverse engineering silicon, glass blowing, chemistry, organic chemistry, writing more science fiction, more fermentation stuff. There are so many cool things to get into and learn. I don’t expect anyone to have a list that matches mine. I expect someone to have a list in the first place. These things are exciting to me, they drive me, or rather the curiosity does. To some people I am tedious and boring, but that is how I feel about the stereotypical normal stuff most people are interested in or doing. I’m more than willing to do something like reshape my life because of stuff like cycling, but I would just as soon try something else with a friend or partner to better their lives in significant ways. I will gladly reshape my interests because there is no ego or narcissism underpinning any of this. I’m not naming stuff because I care how you perceive me. I don’t even think in a space like that naturally. If anything I’m hyper aware of my limitations and desire to learn more. I’m just driven by the curiosity but not like super actively either. It is a slow churn, like an unstoppable bulldozer a snail could outrun. Stand still long enough and I might grow past ya.

So for me, meeting people is simply shifting my interests around. If I was not stuck with my physical limitations, pursuing any interest of mine that has a more balanced participation between the sexes will put me on a course that intersects with at least another long term muse. My problem is that I may learn pottery, but when that moves to sintering and metal casting followed by a deep dive into CNC machining, do they follow or complain about something tedious. What about when I decide to build an EDM machine to take it a step further or I shift gears and get into music for awhile building guitar effects or amps or some analog synthesizer stuff, or writing, or airbrush graphics, or get into criterium racing. I’m not ADHD or OCD at all. I spend months to years on these things exploring them in depth.

So that is why it seems silly to go looking for someone instead of turning inwards first. Of all of my facets, companionship is not a dedicated curiosity or interest. There are many aspects of relationships I find curious and engage with in practice, but this game of hide and seek courtship rituals with perspective strangers is not at all interesting to me.

The part that is hard to understand about who I am now is that I am limited by posture. Sitting up or standing hurts like lifting weights in a gym where you’re going to fail. The moment I’m upright I have around 15 minutes of a clear head, 30 until I degrade significantly, and within 1 hour I’m unable to mentally function at competent levels and highly irritable. Anything over 1 hour will begin impacting my sleep beyond 24 hours. By around 3 hours, it will take me a week to fully recover to a consistent circadian rhythm. It compounds worse for subsequent days of activities or random injuries that occur around once or twice a month. I appear fine other than a little limp in my gate and I can fake that if I try. Sitting in a restaurant with a date, I am just not me. I can do a lot to mask just how much pain I am in but it is miserable, and conversationally I’m not myself. To speak my mind openly, I need to be lying down and without a lot of stress beforehand. So I exist in this homebound prison. I have nothing to offer anyone anyways. And I have had to come to terms with that. Most of me died, only a shell survived. I cannot change that so I make the best of what I have.

People around me had mixed motivations in this later era as you called it. My buddies and I used cafés as a time management tool. Any of us could have built a gaming rig but we would have been on it way too much. Cafés were a destination and way to partition off gaming in our lives.

All screens were squares til like nearly 2010. Heck I have an early Nvidia GPU laptop around here somewhere with the most ridiculous looking 1:1 screen from like '08-ish.

Still peak gaming was MW3, CS, BF2-1942-2142. Back in the day, those were so good people ran successful brick and mortar businesses called internet cafés just for the masses to play those things or some oddie to hold w for hours ““playing”” WoW. Gaming sucks so bad it can’t sustain a real brick and mortar business culture any more.

It is probably just a me thing, but I had a couple of times in my life where I was in the mindset of putting myself out there, and those were dark times. I never had good results. All of my good long term relationships came from times when I encountered someone adjacent to my other interests.

We are both likely grossly oversimplifying the spectrum of potential human experience. Like I can fake extraversion or play like other types of people than my true introverted self. If I keep my thoughts mostly to myself I become very mysterious to any potential partner because of my scope of hobbies and interests. However, I actually need someone that I can talk to openly and constructively across all of my interests, a person that has a similar scope of their own independent interests. That is something I have learned the hard way. I eventually end most long term relationships when I feel held back by what amounts to a muse. They end up limited to a chapter of my life but not a fully storied main character as I evolve.

Anyways, my point is that when I actively went looking with the purpose of meeting people, I had a terribly disappointing and depressing experience. Maybe an extrovert would have a different experience. To me, shopping for people in places where people shop will likely (stereotypically) yield a shopping type of person that will likely continue to shop or find an irresistible bargain at some point.

The best experiences I had were from those I met that were in coplanar orbits to some interest I had. What I really need has been someone motivated by slow persistent but insatiable curiosity and abstract awareness. I don’t know if I ever would have found such a person in my past life, but the feeling of being held back by someone that lacks the curiosity to grow in parallel with me is untenable and empirically worse than being alone.

It doesn’t matter now that I’m physically disabled with my specific limitations. I’m now content with being alone. I feel it would be unfair to force someone to watch me fall apart and die young due to the shell of who I am now after what I barely survived. This place, through the delay of typed thoughts, is the only place a simulacrum of my former self still exists through the haze of chronic sleep deprivation and pain. So I have no skin in the game, only a reflection on past life experiences free from the addiction of relationships.

Not really the point of what I am saying. I am speaking for the other person too without bias or assumptions and I am not pushing anyone to conform to some stereotype. If you’re happy wearing dirty shirts, not showering, and staying at home, that is perfectly valid. You can and should just be yourself. If you feel the need to be someone else or wear any mask of assumption or conformity, you’re potentially hurting someone else and offering a fake version of yourself. If you’re lonely, pursue your curiosity in spaces where other people interact. Don’t just go to where you might find people. You do not exist in that space; that is not you. On a subtle non obvious level, going to a space for not you reasons like this is predatory.

I am actually saying, you’re allowed to be happy or content with whatever state of self awareness and intelligent engagement you push yourself to achieve. The pursuit of raw self motivated curiosity is the only way to expand self awareness from within and grow. When motivated purely from within one’s self, one will eventually achieve one’s true potential while being true to self.

No one deserves to partner with someone that later never showers and never leaves the house after they remove the mask of their true self.

So you see, I’m saying the same thing but with the nuance of the best interests of all parties involved. Don’t tell people to conform to combat loneliness. Make an attempt to inspire their curiosity and self growth if you feel like you’ve spotted some inadequacy, but ultimately let them be themselves so that they are not masking to hurt someone else.

Relationships certainly can and do change people, but let those that want to change someone find their query in the true depths of the coal mine if they choose lest they unwittingly find themselves on an impossible journey to the center of the Earth.

why label and tribalism. just be you and do you things and if that intersects with someone else or not, who cares, you’re just you as your true self. Leaving that space to find someone is silly nonsense that probably won’t work out well because that person is not the real you. Pursue your curiosities until it takes you to your happy place

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Think it has a hole, a shithole, in need of a shitpost. Fucking worthless gas chamber shit is a resignation of all life rights

Abolish digital slavery and publicly code and fund the public commons with no scraping or exploitation whatsoever. Restore the rights of autonomy and self determinism required for a citizen in a democracy and people will return to the culture that existed before google won its privateer piracy charter to digitally enslave everyone in exchange for free email and search results because the US was too backwards to fund the fundamental public commons required for real democracy and was itching for slavery again at the first opportunity of going unnoticed.

I have no skin in this, but VC is involved with Bambu, as I understand things. That never goes well for consumers. They backpedaled to slow down the path to closed garden exploitation, but took no steps to open source or sell a legitimate product that can be owned. The solution is unplug it from the internet cause we gonna do what we gonna do ^{(fu fu)}

Build a Voron and own it for life. I know the excuses, but burning ownership-money, only to rent what someone else controls is mental. In the big picture, that is willingly selling your right to citizenship for neo feudalism as a slave to an overlord. It really is that simple. Normalizing that dystopia hurts everyone else too. But hey you do you. I’m happy for ya if that is your cup of tea.

Republicans have a 2k year old 𝔖𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔱 𝔄𝔫𝔡 𝔖𝔩𝔬𝔴 tradition

Smooth prusa powder coated works great.

Drying makes a gigantic difference. It only takes around an hour in the open before TPU changes significantly from any ambient moisture and become visible in the print.

If you can control the moisture to a minor degree, you can alter the mechanical properties significantly. Once you hear popping, you’ll likely start blowing holes in prints, but there is a stage before this where the bubbles of gases are present but are not coalescing into the larger audible voids of escaping steam. You will see this on long prints using dried TPU filament left out in the open. There will be a much tougher start to the print that gradually degrades into a slightly softer and more flexible texture. It will likely turn slightly foam-like spongy rubbery soft for a section and then it will start popping and dropping walls with holes in the structure.

If you write down the room temperature and humidity and note the time it takes to get to this moisture property, it becomes possible to alter the flexible properties or empirical hardness of a TPU to make it behave in off label ways. This is essentially creating your own rudimentary foaming or light weight filament. It works best for vase mode or other small single wall structures. I have used this based on intuition alone. I imagine with a bit of record keeping one could control the humidity of a box to do longer prints within this state of foaming softness. I don’t know of anyone using a humidifier like the ones for acoustic guitar cases or cigars in a filament box, but that would be an interesting thing to play with too.

Leaves echo chamber ahhh WTF!

I post hobby stuff I’m working on. Everybody seems to care very little. I try to say stop being assholes and people hate for it.

Bias here seems typical for tech geekigarchy. After 2 years on Lemmy – echo chambers are also self selecting and self filtering.

Joining over half a million homeless feral humans

“Randomize seams” uhh no, design parts with seams in mind if they are critical. I often add a small 0.3mm double chamfer “zipper” on a surface because it will accommodate the inconsistency and reduce it by forcing the root inside the body. I’ve made my own infill structures and patterns lately too.

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