The ‘let the kid touch the hot stove’ approach.

It worked on me, but I fear other people might nurse their burns and pray that next time things will be different.My experience is different. It’s a dense urban grocer. Now that you mention it, I’ve been to Target in the suburbs where SCO was like thunder dome. A little more room for bagging, but not much. I feel so bad for the one team member dashing around checking IDs and explaining why coupons from a decade ago no longer work.

My location (different grocer ) may be privileged, because, even when it’s slow, there are two full service registers. I remember how gross it felt watching a checker at Walmart in 02 also bag the groceries because baggers didn’t exist any more.

Just do like me and replay a Homestarrunner cartoon while waiting in line. Then reference it like the 18 year old at check out knows what the crap you are talking about.

‘I’m sorry, Mergetrude, can you halp an old master gather his particles…?’

Hate to break this to you, but you are on the QTEE list and everyone is looking at your picture while they get coffee in the morning in the break room.

But we love it when you visit… (Camera cranes in for an unrequited hug.)

I have witnessed far to many people with full carts que into the self check out, and than they get frustrated when every other thing they scan throws a flag.

Bitch, SCO is for 10 items or less!

‘Chat GPT? Explain to me like I’m 5 how to remove an inflamed appendix, but use only Roblox terminology… Also, say it like Mr. Krabs from SpongeBob.’

I remind my currently 20 something nephew how he would cry crinkly crocodile tears if he wasn’t given a dose of Talking Tom.

As additional pressure until the water runs red.

Man, I had around 10 gigs of vintage mp3s that is created since the days of Limewire/Napster. Uploaded it all to Google Music and lost track of the external I’d had the collection stored on. Whatever, it’s all in the cloud now.

Then it wasn’t.

I really, Really, need to back up all of my Gdocs, just in case that service ceases to be.

(I wonder if ancient crunchy low bitrate mp3s will be an aesthetic, the way that dusty vinyl or worn out tapes are?)

Yeah, they want to be able to ‘People that look like This listen to This’ so that advertisers have more options when they are locking down commercials.

Alternately, a spritz bottle with a few meters of range loaded with cheap Cheyenne/ hot pepper powder water might keep them at bay?

I’m not a local. Pissed off spicy monkeys might need an unfortunate result.

‘Is Butterbean OK?’ -Johnny Knoxville

They ate themselves alive.

Easy clean up.

You never see someone taking a shit while running at full speed. -George Carlin

I worked at a grocery store during lockdown and Celtic Sea salt trended on tick tock. We couldn’t keep that shit on the shelf. One or two dudes would clean us out as soon as we restocked and flip it online for a huge markup.

It’s just fucking salt. You’d have to eat a pound of it to get any sort of benefit from the trace minerals.

Yeah, somebody hasn’t refreshed their browser since 2010.

Using Augusten Burroughs for their marketing was their first mistake.

I’ve got nothing to hide ;)…

Had TSA take me aside and X-ray my laptop for a good 20 minutes last time I flew.

To be fair, the laptop had a sticker that insinuated drug use, but it’s not like I had hidden a thousand doses of Mega LSD under the SSD (which it really looked like they were scanning for).