Madlaine

Makes sense, thanks for the (late) explanation xD

That’s survivorship bias.

There was a time when humans built wineries everywhere and hoped to attract vineyards.

Nowadays, you only see those that attracted one, as all other wineries gave up centuries ago

Well, my brain seems to be affected by it according to that test (difference score of 11) if I interpret the scale correctly

But well, I also got autism and quite a few other mental conditions and learned all my life to cope quite well with all my disabilities; that’s why I specifically outsource direction question to a visualization that make the answer more tangible for me than listening to my intuition.

But well, what works for some doesn’t necessarily work for all. And probably my other conditions have some influence on it as well. We’re all different, after all; even if sharing a few traits.

That’s why I explicitly stated local.*

I don’t care which country I’m in and how they are driving there. I obviously visualize cars I grew up with.

E: well, I see how local can be interpreted as exactly the opposite of what I mean… oops

I get that. My intuition often mixes both up, too.

That’s why I trained myself to say “driver-side” and “passenger-side” in my head when left or right come up. To a point where I don’t even have to think about thinking about it. I just visualize which side of car is meant instead of the rather abstract concept of left and right

Might not help you; but it helps me

To prove your point, please dox yourself.

I’d be interested in your full name, address, your phone numbers, your email adresses, birth date and credit information (which is probably in the order details)

I always imagine a (local) car, and remember which side the driver sits on

Not OP, but yeah…

There are a few mental/neurological conditions that lead to a big adversion against ordinary recurring tasks.

(In my case it’s PDA; but it’s something that I see across multiple neurodivergent spectrums, as well as in people with depression)

Frog or foe?

I don’t disagree with the point that it shouldn’t need to be this way.

But it is what it is; and it’s live saving medication that has to come from somewhere.

People are fighting to tackle the problem officially; but they also have to somehow live in the meantime.

Almost all trans people would prefer a prescription and medical supervision above having to pay themself and guesstimate the doses without proper bloodwork. But some just don’t have any alternatives.

And to be clear: I will always recommend people to try the official way first. local transpersons that asked me for advice all got a “I can help you get therapy; I can help you to skip therapy and go the indication route; I can reluctantly help you skip indication and go the informed-consent-route without psychotherapists but still medical supervision, even tho I really discourage that unless your transidentity is obvious since many years; but I will not help you to get DIY (without medical supervision) unless you tried the official approaches, sorry”.

But for some people, there is no other option than DIY. Getting a place for therapy can be really hard, and some countries have no alternative routes to get a prescription with medical supervision without going through years of therapy first.

(Btw, I don’t know how the laws are in the UK. I’m from germany. But the problem is the same everywhere. I got lucky to be able to get a prescription, tho; but I know a few people that weren’t)

And check if the lockpickinglawyer already tested said trigger lock.

It’s not my area of expertise; but the ones he tested were far from safe.

Yes, but it’s a bit hard to get; even in countries that try to improve trans-care rather than reduce it.

There are just so many therapists; the waiting lists are sometimes simply closed because they stretch years.

For many people, these hormones mean the difference between a livable life and extreme dysphoria, depression and suicidality.

If they could get them on the regular way, they would. But the regular way is often full of problems. So some people have to fall back to just do it themself.

I even heard of doctors who do some medical checks under the counter to ensure everything is done as safe as possible (but aren’t able to prescribe hormones themself without prior psychotherapeutical indication)

So; your point would be valid in theory, but unfortunately for many trans-people, it’s the only way to get their possibly life-saving medication.

But yeah I’m ~235lbs/106kg guy, and I don’t like how I look most days in the mirror in a boring t-shirt and shorts, let alone trying to be desirable, so I’m kinda setting myself up mentally for disappointment. We shall see.

Sounds like me a year ago xD

Try find something that suits your figure; fem clothes can be quite good at camouflaging and distracting from problematic areas if one gets the right stuff.

And it drastically boosts self image when you found clothes you feel comfortable in, even if only in certain situations.

And my personal experience in case you don’t like your face (I didn’t, but I’ve got gender-related dysphoria in that regard): these femboy-cat-face-masks; wear them if you try out or take pictures in dresses. Allows you to focus on the clothes instead your face. After you found clothes you like with that mask on, you might take a look at some basic makeup. Nothing too fancy, but a bit of foundation, powder, minimalistic eyeshadow and mascara can do wonders.

But essentially: Try it! Do yourself a favor and try it! I wish I would have given in sooner instead of always thinking “nah, won’t suit me anyway and I will just look like a dude in a dress”. Wearing stuff like that played a huge part in realizing who I am.

(And it gave me a reason to loose some weight. 103kg->88kg since December)

And obviously: Should you find out in the end that fem clothes are just not your thing; that’s fine as well! But if the idea was already in your head: try it ^-

Just do it.

There are many large people that look beautiful. You have to search for the right clothes.

I assume from your comment that you’re maybe a bit chubby; that’s no shame. Many chubby people look wonderful in fem clothes.

You maybe should go for something more comfortable than the sexy secretary look, but (unless your suuuuper overweight) there will be something that’s suiting your figure. Just google some guides for transfeminine clothing and try some stuff. Many of us wanna wear feminine clothing while having similar issues. A love for food is not depending on the gender ;)

Btw: My personal recommendation are long black skirts from the steampunk/goth/pseudo-victorian niches. They often have enough accessories and other highlights to distract; and they don’t look all that bad if one is a bit larger

This is a meme about trans women, please don’t conflate us with femboys.

Sounds for me like:

“femboys exist, but we are not the same”; not “femboys do not exist. They’re just in denial”

(and I do agree with the first; not with the second)

Baby-Transfem here, started HRT literally last week:

Until last friday I was suicidal, constantly depressed and full of self-hate I couldn’t understand.

Since I got my first dose estrogen my mental health drastically improved (as did some other hormone-related body functions that only need the hormones in my blood but not necessarily a prolonged exposure).

I learned from my doc that some transpersons have a brain structure of their non-assigned sex and then show exactly my pattern of relief; meaning my brain was actually born to be estrogen- instead of testosterone-dominated. (which seems to be based on the hormones oned mom exposed one during 3-4th and 10-14th week of infancy. One periods influences the gender of the brain, the other the sex of the general body)

So while I see where you are coming from, and I heavily prepare myself for all the sexism that will probably bring me back to earth as soon as I visually feminize; I can attest that HRT improved both drastically for me (for now)

(un)fortunately HRT does not remove your beard ;)

Wanna be a beautiful girl with a wonderful shiny beard?

There is a chance!

(Altho having specific physical goals in mind on HRT is more a gamble; and obviously (unfortunately, but it is what it is) a beard on a girl will often lead to weird looks and remarks.)

In another comment you clearly stated that femboys are not the same thing as trans.

And now you want to push the transfem label onto a non-afab person just because they admit to wear gender-non-conforming clothes?

Not necessarily

You could twist the rules.

Instead of hearing “hit” you get handed the shot you just hit

all these new names for old mechanics.

Back in my time we called it “multi-classing”