You are doing some pretty serious mental gymnastics to find issues with Framework. Most parts are open sourced and easy to get ahold of. The parts availability and ease of replacement are lightyears beyond what most companies do. The replaceable ports are not restricted to buying theirs, many people have dedigned and built their own cheap ports and open sourced them. Try buying a laptop from any other manufacturer, and attempt to replace anything. You will be in a world of struggle. You can almost build an entire Framework directly from their marketplace. Oh, ans having stakes in a company does not mean ownership.

“If anything, the toggle made me feel like I was engaging in something truly indulgent, and that appealed to my desire to pretend I’m Angelina Jolie’s character in Hackers”

…opening the settings makes them feel like a hacker?