Pretty sure it’s from a film (I can’t remember which)- the character had cancer.
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Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: July 1st, 2023
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9·5 months agoSince Trump is slang for fart in UK, I propose it be re-renamed to Guff of America in his honour. I bet he wouldn’t even notice.
10·5 months agoVehemently despise.
31·7 months agoThey are still waiting on their delivery of lemon-soaked paper napkins. Any day now.
8·7 months agoThere seem to have been a significant increase in Agent 47-style “incidents” recently.
Birthday Boy
- loiters around stables
- fully grown king man-child insists everyone celebrates his birthday in their own homes
- doesn’t even turn up to open presents
- causes millennia of war atrocities committed in his name
- now you have a dying tree in your house
2·7 months agoYou may like a song I co-wrote in an old band as a joke a few years back. We didn’t do anything with it really, but it eventually got played on local radio (once) which was quite nice.
25·7 months agoAnd we all know how the “I was only following orders” defence goes down in the Hague…
- Donald Trump declares peace in the Middle East, despite ongoing Israel attacks
- Steven Seagal stars in patriotic Russian film as personal favour to Putin
- FCC attempts to shut down MSNBC on grounds of unpatriotic reporting
- Another ship gets stuck in the Suez Canal.
- European countries start national stockpiling of olive oil.
Maybe the genie misheard him saying he wished to be immortal and heard that he wished to be immoral.
12·8 months agoI don’t wish multiple gout-related limb amputations on many people, buuuut…
I hear great things about Doctor Ed Immigration-Papers
Worse, they normalised 2 adults per household working 8 hours per day.
I was going to say he looks like the end result of ten generations of incestuous breeding of the Osmonds.
He’ll blame it on a department he’s looking to dismantle.
Like a bad Photoshop
51·8 months agoDo you think the Christmas gods would relent this year if we just offered up a small fortune to Mariah?
I had to check if this was an Onion article…
Or, you know, parents could actually use parental controls.