Update: Thanks to a few of y’all who got me to look at things differently I think there was a miscommunication. I called my mom, and sorta cleared things up, they said they thought that my message out to them was saying I was planning on celebrating trans day of visibility, and not just mentioning it off hand after accepting the invite. I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t say I am not fully convinced but I love them enough to forgive. Things have been rocky with them, my dad is teetering on the edge of ultra-conservative and still misgenders and dead-names me. In my mind there was a very real possibility my dad told my mom to dis-invite us after knowing it was a trans day.
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Kinda posting to just vent, family instantly cancelled when I just mentioned it was a trans awareness day.
Crazy thing is they know me, they know we’re not religious, they know that all we’d like to do is just see family (most importantly the two doggos.) And now I’m not going to be getting to do that and I just feel pretty hurt after this. I’ve sent some messages back and forth and they’ve re-invited us, but without a clear explanation or sincere apology, my partner doesn’t feel comfortable around them now. I agree with her, so we won’t be going.
This is the first overtly discriminatory thing I have experienced from them, and it is just so strange this is what hill they decided to claim.
I hate being a social war politic pawn, any other situation, birthday falling on the same day, solar event, or an “acceptable” awareness day, would have been met with open arms. They’ve just treated us as degenerates.
I wasn’t expecting or wanting anything, other than perhaps a minor acknowledgement, just getting cancelled on is bizarre and I can only see it as hateful or at least extremely overly defensive over my perceived motives?
Well idk after this I feel like on march 31st it would have been really fun if I spent the day misgendering them so they could experience a taste of some of the experiences I have. But I’m still just hurt, I would have loved to get a hug from my mom and sis and pet the dogs.
Hopefully this follows the rule and venting is ok, this is my first post here and I would have rather it be something more lighthearted but I just want support and validation after this.
that’s all of the context my partner and I had last night before bed, we spent an hour talking about it and how it was very confusing and hurtful. Only got 4 hours of sleep due to that, and an earlier game night we had with someone else that went on for longer than expected.
We’re sleep deprived and stressed af with our lease ending and seeing a new apt. The following conversation I had over text this morning seemed like non apologies (they looked at first like those, “sorry you got offended” type things) and walking back without giving a clear explanation. I re-read it and maybe your first assumption is what she thought too it was right before they would have gone to bed. I’m going to call and get some clarification voice to voice. Text and lack of sleep maybe screwed some things up and I may have you to think for clearing up a miscommunication… That’s what I want it to turn out being at least.
I’ll give an update once I am able to call and sort things out.
Yeah i think they will be glad if you sincerely ask them what they were trying to say and give them a chance to calmly explain themselves. Im not saying you should always be forgiving, but as you said “texting” is often shit for communicating things like this.
I also personally wouldnt want someone to apologize to me, until they actually understand why i was hurt, because thats just not a sincere apology. I hope they didnt mean anything by it but good luck either way ^^
Thank you for helping me see things from another angle, I’ve cleared things up for the most part <3