Oh god, one of these threads? Here we go…
>be in third grade at a school assembly
>have to shit real bad, feeling ill and feverish
>we all get seated on the gym floor
>holy fuck Hugo the Hornet is here! (Charlotte Hornets’ NBA team mascot back when they were the Charlotte Hornets)
>still have to shit so bad that I’m having cold sweats
>wearing gymshorts, no underwear (I had a phase in elementary school where I just didn’t wear any, felt good man)
>Hugo the Hornet starts picking up kids and flipping them over in his hands and setting back down
>starting to feel dizzy from holding in my shit
>see him walking my way
>he’s coming RIGHT FOR ME
>he picks me up and begins to flip me over
>he’s squeezing my gut
>as I’m upside down, diarrhea begins to fly out of my ass and out the leg of my shorts, arcing through the air gracefully
>start screaming
>gets all over Hugo and sprays all over the kids sitting in front of me, hear it plop on the gym floor as well
>it also gets all over my face and in my mouth because I was screaming
>Hugo then drops me on my fucking head, into a pile of my own shit, hear him loudly say “WHAT THE FUCK”
>Hugo takes off his head and reveals himself as a black man. He pukes on the floor.
>the music has stopped, the room is dead silent
>assume the fetal position
>covered in my own shit and can’t stop farting/shitting as I lay there
>start crying
>pass out
>wake up with someone carrying me out of the gym, holding me at a distance
>the tiny breathable holes in my gymshorts work like a shit colander, leaking shit water everywhere, leaving the hard bits in my shorts
>pass out again
From then on i was “The kid who shit on Hugo the Hornet”
I want to believe this is real.
If this is indeed true anon is easily doxxable
I just did a quick Google and the only results on the first page lead to this greentext in some way.
Anon is lying i guess (or maybe google isn’t a good enough search engine which i doubt)
The story is pretty old, note the timestamp on the OP. It has passed into internet folklore now
Yup, the Hornets are the Hornets again, after a brief stint in which they were the Bobcats when this post was made.
Yeah
Fake: Fake as shit
Gay: Following the incident Anon became the victim if severe bullying. But due to his parents jobs they couldn’t move to a different school district. At that time the only other person who would talk to him was that quiet kid from a foster home no one ever talked to.
Being a target for bullying himself, the two of them formed a friendship, that over time blossomed into something more. They got into the same college, then moved in together and then, on a humid July afternoon they gave each other the yes.
That was thirty years ago. And although Anon’s husband died in 2017, what they had was still the purest and most beautiful love I ever got to know
This is beautiful
deleted by creator
damn, where’s /r/thatHappened when you need it
I apologize for singling you out in this but the ubiquity of this particular comment is just silly. Yes, you’re correct. Yes, it’s obvious. Yes, the author is an attention hungry teenager. Now enjoy it for what it is, what all of them are- unabashedly goofy pieces of prose from edgy kids.
c/greentext is basically the same thing
