I’m that guy, but I stick to the surrounding forests and trails, mumbling to myself, scaring off the animals. Since we humans so rarely encounter one another out there, I suspect I’m something of a goddamned samsquatch.

“Little guy, looks like a tacticool homeless man? Always armed? Crawls up out the woodwork when you don’t expect him? Yeah! I saw him once! Didn’t really seem drunk, but he was waving his beer around and holding forth on the local ecosystems.”

“That’s the guy!”