I have a few.
Camera shuttering sounds. I don’t need to hear your camera, dude. Yeah I know most porn is produced and exploited but, don’t need to hit it home doing this. Here is what I don’t get, why not use inexpensive drone cameras to take footage or take shots? Who the fuck needs stupid people doing it?
Cameramen muffled or hearing. I don’t need to hear you either. I don’t give a fuck if you’re enjoying it, just shut the hell up.
Sped-up previews or even sped-up videos because reasons? It just takes me out of the immersion, if there were any to be had.
Exaggerated sounds and moans. “UNNHHH!” “AHHH!!” “HNNN!” “OOOOOO!” slrshrlshlp splsplslspl moist sounds Just fucking mute it. Don’t watch porn for audio.
Seeing that guy in a scene. You know, that awkward fucking guy who is part of the scene who just idly stands there just jerking off all like “nhhn yeah hrrr yeah oh so into this” I want a series of porn videos, where it is just beating that guy down.
Male moans, it’s why when I do watch porn I watch it muted, don’t have this issue with doujins and fics.
Males suck at moaning, they just do.
Dialogue.
Just the fakeness of it
This. Anything that looks like pro porn actors, high quality expensive filming equipment, “scenes”, etc – all that is instant limp-dick.
The best is when a totally amateur person/couple/group have hi-rez, hi-quality 60 FPS cam and are naturally exhibitionists and sexual freaks.
Support small time pr0n producers! Fight corporatism!
The number one thing to ruin a porn video is my ejaculating about 10 seconds earlier.
straights,
Like seriously, im not Here for sexism…
- Any kind of anal anything (beyond the mere presence or non-focal visibility of an anus)
- Mirror-selfies where there is an Apple logo visible on the phone
- Duck-face
shouldn’t there be an nsfw tag on this?
you don’t know where they work
Fun fact:
Back during the dotcom boom I met a guy in San Francisco who worked fixing bugs in Netscape’s rendering engine.
He said ~80% of the problem reports were from porn sites complaining that their page didn’t work properly in NS but worked fine in IE.
So yeah he spent all day on porn sites, making them better for the rest of us.
True hero.
Disingenuous love or none at all.
Overly produced.
"“Sssss, haahhh”
Doesn’t care about woman’s pleasure. Blowjob leads right into sex.
She’s obviously dry.
The cum is fake.
The guy is half hard pushing rope while she’s pretending too hard that it feels good.
Circumcised penis, especially if it’s an oral video.
Gambling site ads embedded in a video.
A grainy video shot on a tripod with no studio lights with people who actually like each other is better than 95% of the garbage that gets posted. I prefer erotica written for men over videos. Even when it’s written cheesy it’s still better than most videos.
Choking. I spend a fair amount of time in kink clubs, and the choking you see casually thrown into random porn would get you thrown out of all of them; including the ones that allow choking.
Glad you asked.
I really don’t like the trend of pushing the ladies’ hair out of her face when she’s giving a blowjob.
It just screams “this is directed and we are following the standard set before us.”
The best sex is authentic, even if it’s being recorded.
Also, tattoos and fake tits. Blech.
Pulling that stupid ahegao face. I don’t know who that’s for, but it’s definitely not me.
It’s for coomers and people who fantasize about lolis who call underaged-drawn female characters their ‘waifu’.
And it should damn well be a kinkshame because of that kind of connection.
OH NO! THE LOLI DEFENDERS WERE REPLYING!
There’s not really any loli connections besides it being related to hentai.
The face actually started in live action Japanese porn in the 1990s.
What do you base this broad assumption on?
slapping. no idea why that is so prevalent. I swear im not looking for it.
And spitting into mouths. And onto dicks. I mean if you’re doing a whole degradation thing then fine. Not going to say it’s never hot, but if it’s just sex between two people and not hate fucking, count me out. Also throat fucking until they either puke or just snot comes out of everywhere.
And if you’re going to do degradation, I need a pre- and post-sex interview of the bottom (edit: I originally said girl, but that’s just how I roll, same would apply in reverse—I’m just not excited by femdom) saying how they are into it/loved it. Degradation with full consent and proper aftercare can be hot but I rarely see that. I think there’s like one company that does it right. (And no I don’t remember the company because frankly I don’t watch all the much porn these days. That company might’ve gone under a decade ago for all I know.)
you know its funny. I love a good throatpie but for some reason I see the spitting in the mouth and thing. ewww. Then again you think about sex without being horny and in the throes and its like. ewwww.
Anytime the girl says shit like, “Oh yeah baby do you like fucking my pussy!? Does my little pussy feel so good!?”
STOP IT. STOP. IT. PLEASE. UUUUUGH. So not appealing.
“Uhh… yeah uh. You’re pussy’s alright, ma’am.”
tips hat
Fake moaning. Fake dirty talk
Jackhammer fucking. I dont want to see some woman have her cervix be pile drived into the ground.
The view from behind where we get to see some ugly dudes fucking hairy balls dangling.
Are some of my top ones, but honestly I dont like professional porn in general. Its just so fake.
I’d rather watch a grainy video of a couple amatures absolutely loving what their doing, than watch some stuff terrible play acting profesional porn in 4k.
You managed to nail about every peeve of mine in one short comment. Bravo.
Just curious, is your comment about fake moaning and fake dirty talk apply to every single video or do some actually do ok?
The only ones I’ve seen do it okay, are the amature videos that arent faking it.
but I have not watched every porn ever produced, so I’m sure there are some out there where the faking isnt miserable and bad.
See, I watch gay porn, so that under view with balls is actually super hot. Lol. And I quite like the pile driving/jackhammer fucking in real life, so that doesn’t bother me, either. But I don’t like professional porn, I like amateur stuff. And the fake moaning suuuuucks
if we’re talking specifically about dick and ball focus… I want my dick and balls to be cute, and shaved, if i’m gonna be looking at them. I dont want to feel like i’m watching Sasquatches sex tape lol
That’s a fair point. Lol. I do prefer shaved, or at least trimmed, but in porn I don’t mind hairy so much. I don’t care for it in real life when it’s in my mouth, though. Hairy balls are unpleasant in the mouth
Aaaahhhhhhh. Sssssssssss. Aaaahhhhhhhh. Sssssssssss. Aaaaahhhhhhhh.
