Yes, this is a real Am I The Asshole, not one where the answer is super obvious and the user is just looking to have their ego stroked.
My SO has BDD and genuinely thinks they look ugly naked. I think they’re 1000% incorrect and that they’re the sexiest human alive, and I would die happy if I could see them naked all the time.
I was diagnosed with a condition called Cone Rod Dystrophy which basically means I’ll lose color vision, then all vision. The timeline is anywhere from next week to 50 years from now.
I want to see them naked every chance I can get so I can cement it in my head before I go blind, but I feel gross for posing that as a reason to let me see them naked.
Like, in the 10 years we’ve been together I’ve never even asked them for a hand job if they didn’t feel up to sex because I didn’t want to seem like a callous asshole, so this would be a big ask from me.
To add in complications, they’re also on the spectrum. Not a criticism since I’m most likely on it too.
Where’d you get that “she” from?
OP refers to “her” and “she” in other comments. Whatever gender the SO is the overall advice still stands. If your partner says they’re not willing for sex but are ok with oral or a handy then you have to trust that they know themselves. You also have to communicate that you want more sexual release than you’re getting and figure out how that works in.